excess inadequacy

chocolate-elvis

2007-01-08T10:33:00.001+08:00

Moved.

I'm kinda fickle. Its chocolate-elvisfrom now on!

(because I'm done with
feeling inadequate)

Look Closer...

2007-01-02T21:53:00.000+08:00

Look Closer...

Watching 'American Beauty' on New Year's Day seemed to mirror my feelings towards the past year. The first time I watched it was a couple of years back - that experience left me confused about the plot and freaked out, nonetheless, by the multiple allusions to psychosis in almost every major character. Now, having watched it for the second time, I am no longer confused and about ten times more freaked out than before.

So, 2006 might be better off left without thorough scrutiny. If the process of committing all those mistakes was as confusing, going down memory lane might re-evoke more (and perhaps unnecessary) shock, grieve and frustration.

It's not that I feel obliged to reflect, but while I did reflect out of habit over the long weekend, my mind could hardly churn out events unrelated to lousy grades, heartaches, growing my hair out, chopping my hair off on impulse, then trying to grow it out all over again.

2007? I can only hope for faster reflexes to deal with the signs Destiny provides and less envy for what it does not.

The Diva

2006-12-30T00:31:00.000+08:00

The Diva

(as if the man needs any introduction...)

"It is uncool to remember the name of your one-night stand." (from kkseet.com)

Find me another lecturer who would dare say something like that openly and I'll pimp you ANY kind of one-night stand you want.

I've already flushed my head in the toilet bowl thrice, for missing that horrendous grammatical mistake in the Arts Mag interview the lovely Diva had most kindly granted. The least a lowly student could do with the honour of sitting down one-to-one with a wildly sought after Icon brimming with insightful, exciting yet unpretentious observations on the arts and cultural scene (and pretty much, everything else) is to produce an article free of gross technical mishaps!

And what the fuck was my editor doing.

Then again, for memories' sake. :)

Oh, and may I please tantalize you further with this: The Diva collects certs like how primary school kids collect Young Scientist's Badges. The list includes: a Bachelor's Degree (with Honours) in Arts, a Masters in Arts, a Masters in Science, a Doctorate in Philosophy, a Diploma in Education and another Diploma in Wines and Spirits. It probably extends to a string of even more exotic assortment from various disciplines, which he wouldn't reveal because he is so humble.

Stop gaping and click on that link already!

2006-12-25T02:09:00.000+08:00

Love Her For That

I've slept more than half of the weekend away. Yes, the last I'd checked with the clock, it's a whopping 26 hours for the past 2 days. Oh, even the bed knows that's not me.

Don't you sometimes wish you could retain all the little sachets of knowledge and wisdom you've accumulated through the years, slot some coins into a time machine and go back to when you were still a child so you can rewrite your own history?

Then again, "things happen for a reason", so I guess that remains as an unwarranted and even more unfulfilled wish.

The Grinch won't be staying long; 2007 is going to be a blast. I just need to use the time between Christmas and New Year's to figure out how.

Merry Christmas, everyone. :)

The Rain Is Not Helping

2006-12-18T22:46:00.000+08:00

The Rain Is Not Helping

The pitter-patter sounds and howling of the winds only serve to amplify the jarring noises caused by the clutter in my head, it's like playing heavy, heavy metal above techno. The rapid beats make me wanna go somewhere fast but the bass shuts off all signals for any directions. No, I am not depressed. Neither am I in one of those angsty moods. It's just the endless questions again. For the past 85 minutes, I've been clicking and typing away at my MacBook, with the original intention to download some underground music to listen to for a change but Limewire's connection speed is terribly sorry. So, I attempted to create a Facebook account while listening to Band Of Horses sing about The Funeral, only to be reminded of how fragmented my identity becomes when I make myself known as Gwen instead of Yiting. On top of that, realise how I'm always too slow in utilizing these "socializing tools" when they are still all the rage. The pain of taking the screen face-on is just too much to bear, so it's never that but some pseudo-artistic angle employed as a clever but banal disguise. It's not that I'm pessimistic-ally stubborn all the time; I do try but not everyone has the heart to lie to themselves. Those who are able to shouldn't be condemned, though I still can't decide if they should be given a standing ovation or not. My eyelids were drooping just ten short minutes ago but with my iTunes gone one complete round in 'Recently Added', Gnarls Barkley tells me they are not anymore and I'm going Crazy very soon. Any hope of waking up early for a morning run tomorrow has already vanished and been replaced by yet another case of ill discipline wreaking havoc in my life.

OH MY GOD.

It's OKAY.

2006-12-16T01:40:00.000+08:00

It's OKAY.

It is.

2006-12-11T21:32:00.000+08:00

Zoukouttt - 09 Dec 2006

For the record, it's a lot less
sleazy than everyone thinks it is -
not that many girls dressed in
itsy bitsy bikinis running around,
no foam despite it being a beach
party and I didn't see enough
random making out to raise any
eyebrows.

Okay, except this one gayyyyy couple...

What? I'm not being discriminating but the matching blonde hair colour was just a tad tacky for my taste and I was a slightly taken aback by the sight of such a, uhhh, tender side of men.

(so unskinny because I had to crop my fat arm out!)

John Legend

2006-12-09T10:44:00.000+08:00

John Legend

Surely it takes more than mere
guts to change your last name to
LEGEND. Seeing enough things
which remind me of the "If you
can dream it, you can be it."
cliche might just turn me into
a convert.

...hurts sometimes when
you do it right.

Come on. Feign acceptance and
belief, shove it down your throat,
knock it into your head and
you'll wake up being that.

2006-12-07T20:44:00.000+08:00

The Mambo Jumbo
As Promised

At the risk of sounding bimbotic,
the funnest part about last night
was probably the fact I got to
wear my new banana yellow
leopard-plus-tiger print dress
(what a name). Can someone
please tell me WHY Zouk is
forever crowded but still ever
popular?

We aren't talking about the
mingle-friendly kind of
crowdedness but the sort that
impregnates people trying to
squeeze their ways through one
end of the bar to the other.

Figure of speech, don't mind me.

One more not-so-newly-bought-but-still-unworn dress to go. ;)

And They Told Me I Don't Need To Worry

2006-12-06T16:11:00.000+08:00

And They
Told Me I Don't
Need To Worry

I do hope bad endings herald
better beginnings.

It's not the effects that the C+
have on my grades that are
fucking eating my brains out. It's
the telling of how little I can do
and how much I can't that is.

Oh, I wanna jump into that pool
now.

My realisations are playing
"Too Fast Too Furious with me.
My sister is an inspiration
sometimes; she knows
contentment well and no one
taught her. It's like a
predisposition she's been
blessed with. No wonder we
aren't close despite being coped
up in the same bedroom for
the past 17 years (and
counting...).

Anyway, I should stop writing
and take a nap and hopefully
wake up in the right mood for
some mambo jumbo. It was
planned pretty long ago and I
want to keep to my word.

STILL Under Construction!

2006-12-05T14:27:00.000+08:00

STILL Under Construction!

I'm quite fickle.

New Look

2006-12-03T14:52:00.000+08:00

Marketing drove me to this.

I'm born in the wrong era. I should have been conceived twenty-odd years earlier, when fighter plane pilots looked like Josh Hartnett, tights were not worn distastefully and Monroe curls were sexy, not reminiscent of Ronald MacDonald's.

(for previous posts, click on 'archives'. :D)

"Love Looks Not With The Eye, But With The Mind."

2006-12-03T09:28:00.000+08:00

However, when met with such a good-looker, I'm afraid my mind stops working completely.

I WANT THE RED MOTOROLA RAZR V3 NOWWWWW... Unfortunately, it's only available in the US. :(

International Santa, hello! Are you listening to me? Can you see this? I've been a good girl this year, and I look good in red, just like you! :)

What Are We Without Music

2006-12-01T10:37:00.000+08:00

What Are We Without Music

Amy Winehouse - You Know I'm No Good

Hot goth caberat mama. Jazz + Soul. You get the feeling that musicians only need drugs, tattoos and good music to survive.

Nay, Fill In The Blanks.

2006-11-28T16:00:00.000+08:00

Nay, Fill In The Blanks.

You're on a mission. REMEMBER that.

Poppies

2006-11-24T21:45:00.000+08:00

Poppies

"It's the opium poppy, not us, that decides where it wants to grow in our garden. It's an attractive plant to draw because there's nothing fussy about it and it keeps its interest right through the autumn when the pepper-pot seedheads attract spiders and wintering insects, as well as the blue ticks that feed on them."

Plant with an audience. Pretty.
Do you see why it's such a coveted item? I do.

Dilbert, Not.

2006-11-21T19:46:00.000+08:00

Dilbert, Not.

This is not what I want to be in time to come - Being an office rat sitting in a small cubicle, wasting time away from 9 to 5, reading strips on dilbert.com whilst suppressing outloud laughter produced from the ability to relate to the corporate bitching and ironies. All done while receiving a very small paycheck.

That would be a sad life and my ultimate nightmare.

Rui: This is for you! It's quite easy to get, especially if you are a coffee addict. ;)

The Black Handbag Story

2006-11-19T19:15:00.000+08:00

The Black Handbag Story

So, I was at this lelong bag sale outside the bugis OG with my family today and happened to spot a black handbag that fit my criteria of "the" bag (of the moment) - roomy, black, basic, with golden (not tacky silver, mind you) buckles hinged at subtle places, leatherish, and most importantly, it was dirt cheap. A big ladies' bag going for $12.90, clearly anyone living in any civilisied part of this planet can tell you it's a darn good deal.

Obviously, that got me excited. I've been searching for a black bag forever. Sure, quite a few have caught my eye on previous shoppig trips but they were ALL out of budget and I adhered to my new-found frugal ways, ie, did not splurge on impulse. I called my mum over and showed her the bag.

She held it up and started peering into it.

Thinking that she must be checking the zips and stuff for me, I walked over to another trolley to have a look at the other bags.

When I went back after what, 2 minutes, I realised to my horror...
She was no longer holding that bag.

My mind went black for a second, then reactivated itself to realise its worst fear.

YES. Some other woman was holding on to THAT bag instead and it sure wasn't one of the staff mending the stall.

My jaws dropped and my arms went flailing into every free space available in that stuffy, jostling crowd. I turned to my mum and asked, "WHYYY did you put it down?"

"Orh ni yao na ge bag meh?"

Yeah lar, then?!!! Bu yao hai hui na gei ni kan meh???

Completely flabberghasted, I went back to that trolley and started digging through the same pile of bags where The One was found. It didn't take me long to realise that the piece I handed over to my mum was THE ONLY AVAILABLE one.

(see. The good stuff go fast.)

I stared helplessly at that woman holding to The One, My One and felt like crying. I tried channeling evil vibes through her body so she might hopefully think the bag is cursed and drop it. But she clung on to it and took her time browsing through the other sections while my mum tried to no avail, to distract me with other phony-looking black bags.

:'(

The most annoying thing was that the woman knew what went on because she was within the vicinity of hearing the conversation between my mum and I but she just WOULD NOT LET GO OF MY ONE!

I bet she did that on purpose. What spiteful people surround us. Tsk.

(Oh, and did I mention she was fat? Like, not plump-fat but obese-fat?)

I am aware that I am assaulting her body in a subjective and unprofessional way and taking the entire obesity issue out of context but I am so NOT sorry. If I had lost to a skinny bitch who would probably look better carrying that bag, then fine, so be it. I might even kowtow to her and pat her on the back, "Great taste." Why did the gods choose to let me lose to a fatty?! WHY???

I muttered, "si pang zi" under my breath before walking away after 10 minutes of stalking that Fat Lady but only because my sis was clamping her hand over my mouth. I felt more like hollering.

My mum felt kinda bad, so she coaxed me into walking into the OG premise and going back to the bag area after a while, thinking that the Fat Lady may eventually decide not to get My One. So, we entered the OG premises and when we came out of the building about 30 minutes later, that freak was still at the bag sale and by that time, she was holding on to FIVE black bags in total.

"Neh-neh-nee-poo-poo. I have five and you have none!"

My one was her Bag with a vengeance, I see.

Regretfully, I watched her pay for that pile of bags, including My One, at the crime scene and made myself promise to let anything good slip past me again.

Never ever.

When in doubt, hold on to all the "might be"s and KIVs, ladies! There is nothing more hurtful than a "it could have been".

*insert grouchy-looking face again

Koh-Nee-Chee-Wahhh!

2006-11-16T23:48:00.000+08:00

Koh-Nee-Chee-Wahhh!

Hi, this is your friendly :) NUS student guide, Yee-Dting san speaking.

Last Thursday and today have been days spent with many "uhm"s, "hmmm?"s and more ???. On top of being an extremely lazy and procrastinative (4 more webcasts to go...) university student, I've been moonlighting as one of the student tour guides from the NUS Japanese Society who frequently host Japanese high school students who come to Singapore for exchange programs.

Surprised? Never knew I was into Wasabi, Sashimi and Ayumi right?

;)

Last Thursday was my first attempt and I was assigned to a bunch of 6 very cute (oh, I mean kawaiiiii) and sweet (considerate kinda sweet) girls and today's group consisted of 4 very cute and sweet boys.

I can't help but notice a pattern - These Japanese kids just cannot stop being so cheerful and cute right? Keeping up to the level of their sprightlyness is like trying to psycho a slow loris in moving faster than a bunch of Energizer bunnies. Does anything ever get them down? Don't they have homework to do?! Cellulite to worry about? PMS? These kids are such happy, happy people.

I have my first New Year's resolution out and that is to master as many foreign languages as possible. First on the list is definitely Japanese. Not that I'm particularly interested in the language or culture but trying to communicate using body language and 'win, lose or draw' is just way too tiring.

Check out the first pic for my scribblings and try to make out the "conversation" I made with my non-existent knowledge of the Japanese language. Thank god for making "MAKE-UP" (cue: a lot of high-pitched squeals) and "SHOPPING" the universal languages of mankind.

The second resolution would be to learn about the tourists' attractions lying in the nooks and corners of our lil island. Ignorance is not always bliss. I gotta stop being such a bochap Singaporean.

I'd have a stronger case arguing against the GST hike then, you see.

Tourguiding is really quite an experience. Everyone, try it at least once! :)

PS. Sorry but my narrative entries always flop! This is so all over the place. :S The past 7 hours of non-stop walking is making me slightly motion-sick.

Fifi's Postcard! :)

2006-11-15T09:39:00.000+08:00

Fifi's Postcard! :)

In these difficult times (dammit the exams!), we shall rely on technology to bridge the physical gap and go the distance on our behalf...

Here's the postcard that Fifi sent from Nottingham! Please click on the image, save it then zoom in to read it. Fifi's handwriting is a lil small, don' think you can see the words just by viewing the image here.

The real stuff is with me, will pass it around after we eventually meet up after the whatevers. :)

Fi: The pictures are gorgeous indeed. Much heartfelt thanks! :) Sorry you gotta make do with this for now cos I have no idea when I get to see the rest of our yearmates. :( Seems like an indefinitely long time.

excellent of its kind:

2006-11-13T00:35:00.000+08:00

excellent of its kind:

dictionary.com defines "beautiful" as that, so here goes my tribute to the lady who has captured my attention since I was a child.

There are some things which remain true to themselves despite time.

***
Sexyback was a distracting piece of crap. JT, My Love, forgive my ignorance! THIS pretty much rocks anyone's socks. :)

Because, I can see us holding hands,
Walking on the beach our toes in the sand.
I can see us in the country side,
Sitting in the grass laying side by side.

YOU HAVE TO CHECK OUT THE MUSIC VIDEO FOR THIS ONE. I did and cursed my two left feet before praying to the heavens I will be reincarnated as a dancer in my next life.

Guilt-Stricken

2006-11-08T18:42:00.000+08:00

Guilt-Stricken

Consumed by guilt. Munch munch.

Why?

Because I shop too much, study too little, judge too much and love too little.

It's just that when work piles up, I feel like being a total recluse. Even phone calls become a chore to pick up, smses are sent to friends without proper greetings and I'm basically very much MIA.

Sometimes I wonder if I don't learn to let go, who will be willing to keep on trying.

And trying.

(Darlings, it's not your fault.)

Time-Killer Indeed

2006-11-07T16:35:00.000+08:00

Time-Killer Indeed

1) How old do you wish you were?
21. The youngest amongst the R21 movie crowd. :) I've lost track of how many GOOD films the Censorship Board made R21.

2) Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Singapore - Probably in school.

3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Shriek, step back and watch the machine trap its next victim, chuckle, then walk away.

4) Do you count yourself kind?
Yup. Sort of.

5) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
Either on the right hip or lower back because these are places were the tattoo can be concealed if the need arises. But seriously, I'd want one on my right wrist. Perhaps another on either ankle too.

6) If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
French. It's too sexy. ;)

7) Do you know your neighbors?
An auntie and uncle, who have 3 delinquent kids and a PRC family, yeah.

8) What do you consider a vacation?
When I can go to sleep at night without having to set the alarm clock for the next morning.

9) Do you follow your horoscope?
Of course, but not on a daily basis.

10) Would you move for the person you loved?
No. I've heard that is a 100%-risk-no-returns action.

11) Are you touchy feely?
Haha.

12) Do you believe that opposites attract?
Duh. Geeks adore me!

13) Dream job?
The founder/MD of a successful international clothing brand, who is incidentally married to a tycoon who is incidentally a VERY submissive man. Oh, if I stay on Earth, probably a fashion magazine editor who doesn't wear Prada. :)

14) Favorite channel(s)?
Not a TV buff.

15) Favorite place to go on weekends?
Anywhere my parents bring me and my siblings for breakfast and grocery shopping.

16) Showers or baths?
Showers la. I can't fit into the basin at home.

17) Do you paint your nails?
Just the toes but very religiously.

18) Do you trust people easily?
Hell, no. I still suspect the Arts canteen fruit stall uncle had me on when he nodded his head at my request of "No sugar, please." last Monday.

19) What are your phobias?
Fatness, raw food, inadequacy, rejection and loneliness.

20) Do you want kids?
Yes! Preferably a cute Lunlun.

21) Do you keep a handwritten journal?
It doesn't work. We are living in blogger era, hello.

22) Where would you rather be right now?
In a shopping mall where everything is free for me to take. Hee.

23) Who makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
Lil kids.

24) Heavy or light sleeper?
Light. Last night, I slept on the drawer bed and woke up the moment my sis came crashing down on me from the higher bed.

25) Are you paranoid?
Haven't I briefed you on my mid-mid-life crisis??

26) Are you impatient?
Wah lau. Is this quiz ever going to end!? Heh.

27) Who can you relate to?
Spongebob. Do you know how it feels to have your face housed in a BOX.

28) How do you feel about interracial couples?
I feel terribly lucky for their hotass mixed-blood children. :D Good foresight, there.

29) Have you been burned by love?
Haven't even come close.

30) What's your favorite pick-up line?
I don't even look at guys.

31) What's your main ring tone on your mobile?
Some jazzy female singer whom my classmate accused of being very lian.

32) What were you doing at midnight last night?
Touching up on my marketing report.

33) What did the last text on your cellphone say?
Yun asking me out to gym this Friday.

34) Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
Oh, the drawer bed! My sister's. The wheels made me dizzy. :S

35) What color shirt are you wearing?
White. 77 tee!

36) Most recent movie you watched?
Wicker Park. :)

37) Name three things you have on you at all times?
My single-eyelids, 3 ear studs and toe nail polish.

38) What color are your bed sheets?
Fuschia and peach!

39) How much cash do you have on you right now?
10 plus at last count.

40) What is your favorite part of the chicken?
The juicy bOObs.

41) What's your favorite town/city?
New York, from my imagination.

42) I can't wait till I have the answers to all my questions.

43) What did you have for dinner last night?
Omg. Maggie mee at 1030 pm I think.

44) How tall are you barefoot?
A very ambiguous 166cm.

45) Do you own a gun?
Nope.

46) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
1/3 cup of cold water, followed by 3/4 cup of black coffee without sugar and another sip of cold water.

47) Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
Hopefully, not Singapore.

48) Last thing you ate?
A pear.

49) What songs do you sing in the shower?
The cheesiest BSB songs like 'I Want It That Way'. You know you want it that way too! Sing it the next time you are taking a shower. That song sounds great with bathroom acoustics.

50) Last thing that made you laugh?
My marketing groupmate's impersonation of the host of 'The Price Is Right'. We adapted the gameshow's concept as part of our presentation this morning.

51) Worst injury you've ever had?
Pimples that left scars? Pooi.

52) Does someone have a crush on you?
The spider resting on my laptop screen can't stop staring at me.

53) What's your favorite candy?
White, powdery and pillowy marshmallows.

54) What song do you want played at your funeral?
A Cranberries song, perhaps.

Thanks to Fi for giving me the opportunity to kill the lazy afternoon. Heh. Quizzes are fun! Not gonna arrow people to do this though (in case you are the sort who thinks posting quizzes on blogs cramps one's style), try it if you are in the mood! :D

On L.O.V.E

2006-11-04T15:07:00.000+08:00

On L.O.V.E

No, no I'm not in love with anyone. (hur. Not yet.) But I've been kinda engulfed by the whole idea of love lately. Swamped, in fact.

First, there was the viewing of 'Be With Me' on Thursday. Watching it for the second time evoked so many new emotions.

Then, Yun's tarot cards reading. OMG. Never say never, okay, everyone. Maintain this aura!

And I've just finished watching 'Wicker Park' on my MacBook. So my neck and shoulders are a litle stiffened up now and I'm convinced love drives us to do a lot of things. ALL of us. I can't really put my finger to this feeling because I am too inarticulate, though. It's just that I can SUDDENLY understand why love is used as a recurrent theme in songs, music movies and plays.

Whatever.

I am not what I am.

I would you were as I would have you be.

Would it be better, Madam, than I am?

I wish it might, for now I am your fool.

Strange, it's not even Valentine's!

Leeches and Cream

2006-11-01T23:34:00.000+08:00

Leeches and Cream

Leeches of the world unite!
We are going to suck the world dry.
For time is running tight,
And assignments we have yet to try!

Wanna know how to drop one kg a day?

1. Meet the leeches. A few large ones will do too.

2. Have an econs assignment heavily laden with mathematics due in less than 24 hours and waste precious time calculating rows and rows of answers derived from formula as long as the Great Wall of China MANUALLY, only to realise everything can be done using Ex-hell. Oh, I think Bill Gates nicknamed it Excel. Then, proceed on to panic over the keying in of all the answers, complete with subscripts, superscripts, fractions, decimals, logarithms, trigonometry and other assorted mathematical apparatus into the computer so a SOFT COPY can be duly handed in to the lecturer, as kindly requested/insisted upon.

3. Drag your tired body and aggravated mind out for a 20-minute-$9.90 taxi ride and turn up punctually for tuition. Make a nth reminder about getting your pay which already has been held up for a couple of lessons, expect to receive cash and be presented with a cheque instead.

A cheque which translates into one and a half days of waiting for it to be banked in. Your anorexic wallet agrees with you that it feels like an eternal wait.

4. Realise at 9.50pm that you haven't had anything to eat since 2 pm, but only after hypoglycemia has hit. Then decide, while walking away from the quick cheque deposit area whether to muster up enough strength to at least make it to the nearest 7-11 to grab a cup of milo or to just stop walking altogether before the dizziness threatens to slam your face onto the hard-tiled ground.

5. Come home and realise the freaking whitehead on your chin has transformed into a mature pimple. F*CKKK.

6. Break your bathroom mirror while showering. (don't ask how)

7. Have an eyelash fall into your eye while shampooing and it's so freaking painful that it makes you wanna just dig it out with your shampooey fingers. BUT! How is that possible when you've just broken the mirror 5 minutes ago?! Dash out to your bedroom with a toilet wrapped around your body as a considerate gesture of self-protecton of modesty OR bear with the pain and wait till you are done with showering, then fully clothe yourself and fish that damn thing out with the help of the mirror in your bedroom?

If you have chosen option B, you're in for big trouble. You will find a mysterious lychee in your eye soon after.

The thing about having seven years of bad luck after breaking a mirror had better be BULLSHIT.

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Where art thou, Lady Luck!

I Thought The World of You

2006-10-27T21:58:00.000+08:00

I Thought The World of You

This is not making anyone sad,
Or inadequate,
It's just a way of toughening up.

You know what they say about them,
The pretty ones.
Their lives are too blessed.

It's surreal.

Pretty things get their way all the time,
While the rest watch on, holding up the backdrop for them.
We are the back drop.

When you stand at the back, though
You see things on hindsight,
And it becomes obvious.

The hyprorisy lying behind
A size 6 clothes tag,
Is more than just a "Size 6's out. Size 10's too big for you, yeah?"

Because
I can't see your "soul" clearly behind those beady eyes,
That's why! *blinks

Face it,
Those who claim that this is not everything,
Don't have the right answer.

But the outlet for comfort.

This is everything and the only thing.

With the recent downpours, my brain seems to have taken a liking to hitting the snooze button. And that is weird because I NEVER snooze; unless I know there are monsters hiding under my bed or if I intend to skip classes and snoozing just adds to the kick of defiance. Then again, it just doesn't make sense to not crawl into the warm covers of your bed when it starts raining and you happen to be at home and not somewhere outdoors, digging into your bag, fishing out that umbrella you stuff in your bag dutifully everyday (yes! Finally, a chance to utilize it! After 723816 days of perseverance!) while praying hard in your heart that the rubber soles of your slippers don't give you the slip. (hurr.)

SO. The thing is, I've slept too much. 1-ish am to 11 am then for another 3 solid hours in the afternoon for almost as long as the rain went on.

That's half a day spent on sleeping?! No wonder I'm spending the other half in an extreme state of grogginess.

If you are reading this now and feeling extremely jealous because you're a total sleep-lover and you can't spend as much time sleeping, well, chances are, you probably have people to take you out on a weekend, so we're quits.

:)

Midnight At The Oasis

2006-10-24T00:35:00.000+08:00

Midnight At The Oasis

Do you really think by glorifying the present and putting my past down at the same time will not upset me in any way?

If logic doesn't fail me, no one discards themselves between 10 minutes ago and this current point in time. So I don't see why you don't see I was the same person half a year, 3 months, 6 weeks, 5 hours or 2 seconds ago.

There is something in all of us which gets pricked too easily sometimes and it's called P.R.I.D.E. Mine just said, "Ouch."

"Thanks."

"And fuckk YOU."

***

I cannot stand/hate/loathe the feeling of having to search for money this way. I'm tired to the bones (I know you are too...) and it leaves me questioning once again.

Most of the times, we just grit our teeth and go one, lying to ourselves with the psychotic chants, "You're made of steel. Do what you need to do.".

Ignorant fools are the only ones who grimace.

***

It's been 1 second since I last felt stupid/silly,
3 minutes since I last yelled at someone,
25 minutes since I last had anything to eat or drink.
3 and a half hours since I felt threatened,
11 hours since I had my part of my speech corrected,
2 days since I last used conditioner on my hair,
67 bucks since I last had it tinted,
2 mascara wands since my last room clean-up,
1.5 inches of excess flesh since my last attempt at talking myself out of buying a piece of garment,
294 milliseconds since I last mused about you,
0.6 seconds since I last caught the lyrics to a Cranberries song,
3 friends' effort since I got talked out of it,
1 of me to get me crawling back to it,
6 hours and 38 minutes since I heard someone yakking away in foreign tongue,
0.5 of a fortnight since I last felt the Monday blues,
5/12 of a decade that I've indulged in a fantasy,

and
not a moment was caught in any of the above free of inadequacy.

2006-10-22T22:03:00.000+08:00

MacBook Photography

My classmates are mad; 1's a crazily reckless driver (yay! I found someone as bad as meeee) and the rest go crazeee over my MacBook's photobooth function.

Photowhores, rejoice. The new MacBook will satistfy you.

Cusp

2006-10-21T01:20:00.001+08:00

Cusp

I was born on a cusp but I've been living in oblivion for the past 20 years.

For those born between 18 to 23 January, we are supposed to be Capricorn/Aquarius because... "the heavenly bodies were located on the cusp of the Aquarius and therefore, posseses the attributes of both the sign it is leaving and the sign it is entering."

Never mind if you don't believe in astrology.

If you've ever found me weird/eccentric, I understand and FORGIVE you.

So there is a reason behind my ambiguity! Never the true blue putnosetogrindstone, stickinthemud kinda Capricorn, though the ambitious part is something I'd agree with.

What an oddball. Hah.

Stuff.

2006-10-18T00:29:00.000+08:00

Stuff.

The simulacrum is never that which conceals the truth - it is the truth which conceals that there is none.
The simulacrum is true.

1. Simulacrum:
A copy of a copy which has been so dissipated in its relation to the original that it can no longer be said to be a copy. The simulacrum, therefore, stands on its own as a copy without a model.

2. Hyperreality:
A way of characterising the way the consciousness interacts with "reality". Specifically, when a consciousness loses its ability to distinguish reality from fantasy, and begins to engage with the latter without understanding what it is doing, it has shifted into the world of the hyperreal.

Sociologist Jean Baudrillard (born July 29, 1929) began his work on culture by studying the semiotics of advertising and consumption. He noted that reality was being increasingly replaced by sign systems that recodified and replaced the real.

Instead of real cars or refrigerators, we come instead, under a regime of controlled consumption shaped by marketing and advertising, to consume signs of status or self-identity.

In a deconstructive mode, Baudrillard argues that eventually in contemporary times, the referent disappears altogether and people come to live in pure simulations, replications of reality that resemble it in all respects save they are representations through and through.

In Baudrillard's most famous assertion of such simulations, he mantained that the Gulf War of 1990 "did not happen". In those events, reality was so shaped by the media and so replaced by representations that the events might as well have not happened. All that people "knew" or "experienced" of them came to them through carefully controlled images.

The idea of "Disneyfication": Disneyland is a perfect model of all the entangled orders of simulation. To begin with, it is a play of illusions and phantasms: pirates, future world, the perfectly clean premises etc. Disneyland is there to conceal the fact that it is the "real country", all of "real" America, which is Disneyland. It is no longer a question of a false representation of reality, but of concealing the fact that the real is no longer real, and thus saving of the reality principle. It is meant to be an infantile world, in order to make us believe that the adults are elsewhere, in the "real" world, and to conceal the fact that real childishness is everywhere, particularly among those adults who go there to act the child in order to foster illusions of their real childishness.

*****

Confusing? Basically, the world we are living in now is not real; it is hyperreal.

Can I consider it a kind of indulgence then?

I recall a certain Mrs. Baddily rolling her eyes at us during GP when it was apparent that none of us had taken the 'Disneyfication of Singapore' (or something along that line) article seriously. And now, more than 2 years on, I actually find this same stuff fascinating.

Seven Days In Sunny June

2006-10-16T00:11:00.000+08:00

Seven Days In Sunny June

"That I've known you too long for us to have a thing." - I do think it's a legitimate excuse.

These days, I've taken to sleeping late, sometimes little. Nu Jazz sounds so much better when night falls and Jay Kay from Jamiroquai is my new iTunes buddy. (:

I believe I'm in love with an 80 year-old man!

I don't have to point out which one's him, right?

Fish very kindly acceded to my kinda last minute request of catching a show on Saturday and we ditched 'The Departed' for 'Scoop'. I was intent on giving Scarlett Johansson a chance at redeeming herself after 'The Island (god, she was practically a walking hua1 ping2 (with lots of boobs) in that one!) since there has been so much good press about her and her pretty widely-acclaimed acting skills. Plus, I've got to see for myself what kinda woman is worthy enough of Mr. Hartnett right? Hurrr. I really shouldn't be calling her a bimbo anyway, because throughout the entire movie, Fish and I were speculating about who the mystery (cute, funny-cute) little old man is.

"Ehhh, who is that old man? He looks damn familiar!"
"Oh really, errrr... I dunno..."

Then I saw the 'Directed and written by Woody Allen' printed on the movie poster plastered outside the theatre.

And it was only after I got home that I realised that uber good-looking hunky actor is none other than Hugh Jackman, aka Mr. Wolverine himself.

Talk about missing the obvious, huh.

Damn hua ping, you distracted me!

(Finally, a regular entry. (;)

WHY?

2006-10-09T23:43:00.000+08:00

WHY?

I abuse it
so
I
don't have to
face up
to
the consequences.

Scars won't form if the wounds don't heal. There has to be a way out.

Hugo:

2006-10-07T23:21:00.000+08:00

Hugo:

All my life I always wanted to fly. I always wanted to live like a hawk. I know you're not supposed to be jealous of anything, but... to take flight, to soar above everything and everyone, now that's living. But a hawk is no good around normal birds. It can't fit in. Even though all the other birds probably wanna be hawks; they hate him for what they can't be. Proud. Powerful. Determined. Dark. Odin is a hawk. He soars above us. He can fly. One of these days, everyone's gonna pay attention to me. Because I'm gonna fly too.

- O

Awww. I'd still love Josh even if he was a psychotic, green-eyed monster and murderer all rolled into one. :)

Ah Lian Hair

2006-09-28T01:43:00.000+08:00

Ah Lian Hair

I've gotten myself some ahlian blondish highlights. :S Dupe-able mood the other day; got talked into it. Hehhh.

You've been warned, k.

Initial D

2006-09-24T20:52:00.000+08:00

Initial D

This is lame but I still remember what I did at Borders on Thursday.

I asked a question in my mind and flipped to a random page of a book (okay, that's what the book was designed for, apparently - as a fortune-telling thing).

The reply I got?

"The Initial D cannot get away from it."

Quick!!! Bring on the Ds!!!

You Give Me Something

2006-09-23T22:34:00.000+08:00

You Give Me Something

The random thoughtfulness can seem so empowering momentarily, I wish I can capture them and seal them with a container of sorts, you know... Just to make sure I don't go back on my "thoughts"?

Thoughtful thoughts that go something like, being a more considerate daughter, kinder sister, more concerned granddaughter, a more dependable friend, a friendlier stranger, a more frugal fashionista, a more fashionable fashionista, a less wannabe fashionista, a zen-er person, in general.

OHM.

My neckache's a massacre. :'(

Isn't It

2006-09-18T23:21:00.000+08:00

Isn't It

Spinnin': 'I Am Not My Hair' by India Arie ft. Akon

So, my bus to school came 30 seconds before I could reach the bus stop but just in time to catch my eye.

Then the second one came and promptly drove off despite me and another passenger flagging for it very noticeably. Hello, one bus, one lane, 2 flailing arms, bus uncle, are you telling me you didn't think we were flagging for that freakin' vehicle you operate? (!!!)

There goes my start to the week - BAD, because I was 20 minutes late for school despite waking up an hour earlier than necessary. WHAT, THE, ___ (fill in blank with word you deem appropriate).

And when something pisses me off, my mind starts racing and I think of all sorts of crazy things. Today's topic happened to be about my (bleakkk) future.

I seriously wonder if I'm screwing up my own life by taking up econs. I am obviously not good at it and my previous "interest' at it was only a fleeting affair based on what I thought it should work out to be (econs = study of ways to make money!!).

It seems like I'm going to become a statistic of the Singaporean stigma - "Local arts degree WITHOUT honours".

Not an inspiring thought for a blue Monday morning.

Yet, the energizer attitude in me questioned the need for this panic attack. Hardworking people are always duly rewarded and there is enough time for me to make amendents, right? I'm not going to look back at this moment 10 years down the road while salivating at the $10, 000 per month paychecks of my friends who are doing professional degrees, right?

I won't, because there are things which, unlike money, cannot be quantified.

I am not trying to disillusion myself. Otherwise, I could move to Bhutan. I hear they operate on "Gross Domestic Happiness". :)

***
Our dearest Fify Mimi has left us for greener pastures for the next 9 months! Girl, we are going to miss you! Email/sms us when you reach! Take care. ;)

Amnesia

2006-09-16T11:41:00.000+08:00

Amnesia

I'm gonna catch amnesia, forget everything and make you panic.

:)

Screw

2006-09-14T01:45:00.000+08:00

Screw

HOW is that I'm supposed to be living the peak/near-peak of my youth balancing work and play when I have about a dozen macro questions unaccounted for, endless tuition to give and dumped with the daunting and bleak task of dating actively in hope of putting the minds of my mum and my girlfriends' minds at ease ("Phew. She's getting settled down, finally!").

HOW, I ask you.

My default mood shouldn't be always tuned to 'sian' right?

Mourn for That 15 Minutes of Pain

2006-09-12T22:18:00.001+08:00

Mourn for That 15 Minutes of Pain

I vaguely remember my chinese teacher in primary school talking to my class about this idiom which describes a mute person being unable to express his displeasure in swallowing some bitter medicine (or herbs, I think...).

Yeah, its the same bitterness caught in my mouth and I just can't fucking spit it out.

HELP.

There has to be a way out of this, right?

So, what is it about looks? Worshipping an ideal set of looks makes you and me superficial people? Then again, we are all allowed a certain amount of room for this thing called fantasy to frolic around in? Is this it? Is this what it's supposed to be or everyone is just doing it wrong? You see something you like and the logical thing is to reach for it, however far it may seem? Otherwise, anything you settle in between for will be not just a compromise for yourself, but also to the "second (or third, forth, blah) best"?

Now, I'm truly convinced that discontentment is the result of the sum of the 7 deadly sins.

When this world leaves me, I wish to be obtain contentment.

-

2006-09-09T10:05:00.000+08:00

Maybe if this world starts spinning in black and white, I'll be able to decide if I like it.

Maybe.

Decide.

If.

What if.

Dispensable.

Decadence.

Shhhhh.

2006-09-08T12:23:00.000+08:00

Short Notice and Close Range

"One must be able to gain an understanding at short notice and close range of the beauties of character, intellect, and spirit so as to be able to draw out the best qualities and make them show in the outer aspect of the sitter.
To do this one must not have a too pronounced notion of what constitutes beauty in the external and, above all, must not worship it.
To worship beauty for its own sake is narrow, and one surely cannot derive from it that aesthetic pleasure which comes from finding beauty in the commonest things."

- Imogen Cunningham

I wonder how much of this is true or practised.

Mirage

2006-09-05T23:01:00.000+08:00

Mirage

So, Capricorns are supposed to be hardworking, right?

Then explain to me why I feel how some things which some seek really ought not to be too sought after; it should come to you, me, us, if it's even supposed to happen.

Nope, not being lazy, jaded or whatever, just confirming a wild thought I was entertaining while nursing a cut some time back.

It's happened enough times for me to feel like a guru goddess now, sitting here and typing this away furiously.

And with that, I officially announce that I give up.

I wanna marry my first boyfriend.

Happy Pictures! :D

2006-09-03T02:15:00.000+08:00

Happy Pictures! :D

Speed

2006-08-29T22:59:00.000+08:00

Speed

Eventually, the journey ends and the destinations are arrived at. But, at what speed, can I ask?

It's funny how I want to speed up some and slow down the others.

1. It has to be a trade-off from unpretentiousness. Are you really going to buy that plain cup of coffee which comes in a somewhat weird, somewhat quirky packaging because it serves just as much purpose as the classic double shot expresso served in a glass, so untainted by anything else?

Or is it simply because classics are so beautiful they are out of reach?

That glass of plain coffee may not take to it, sir. So I suggest you cancel that order.

***

2. So, I guess everyone noticed.

What's so wrong with it?

I don't see you going around questioning those who already were.

I am merely making an effort to adhere to the standards set because being out of place is such an oddly saddening feeling, you know?

Still a far cry away anyway. Can't wait to see the '4' but should I pace myself out a little?

***

3. The ignition. Definitely needs to be lighted faster.

Gogogo. No need to stop and think.

Fuck. I hate it when people don't keep to their promises.

It's the cherished feeling that is worth cherishing, hello hello.

History

2006-08-28T20:56:00.000+08:00

History

I thought I'd shift my blog to this new add so I could hopefully, write about happier and more meaningful things and block out all the previous angst-filled posts I used to dutifully flood my old blog with.

Scratch that.

I thought wrong.

Several months on, and I'm still falling back on the same pathetic situations.

(When was the last time I cried in public?)

Vague posts = Angst on suppressed mode.

The Decision that Should Have Been Made Long Ago

2006-08-23T10:40:00.000+08:00

The Decision that Should Have Been Made Long Ago

So I have a sore neck and a quite horrible headache and I'm typing this away amidst these little physical ailments.

Oh, and to digress a bit: I'm a little disturbed by the sore neck after being reminded of what happened to the male lead in that thai horror movie, "Shutter". Apparently, a ghost had been sitting on his shoulders which explained his sore neck. :S Isn't this the 7th month?!

Okay, never mind about that. I probably just need a new pillow.

Yeah, so the major decision I've made is (surprisingly) not related to my hair.

I've decided to...

1. Clock in at least 3 hours of mugging time each for my 2 econs modules and another 1.5 hours for the rest of my modules per week. Translation: A minimum of 10.5 hours spent on studying on top of curriculum hours. Because I am tired of NOT knowing what goes on.

2. Still exercise regularly on top of that. Continue with pilates, maybe? :)

3. Sleep no later than midnight and wake up by 730 every morning! Late nights are really no good.

And I have about 300 things to do this weekend. Is the decision a challenge or what. :/

Closet

2006-08-20T02:43:00.000+08:00

Closet

"She would sit beside the windowsill, and to this day, I don't know what she was thinking about.

But her eyes could kill you with one look, and they were deeper than any ocean on the face of this earth.

She was fragile; you could tell just by looking at her that she went through so much and then she turns around and smiles.

And you know that she is strong.

You know that she is going to be okay...

And really, that is exactly what I want. To be okay, and to smile, after all of this."

I have no clue who wrote this, but it got me to finally overcome the bout of blogging inertia I've incurred through the weeks and I wanna quickly jot it down before I lose "the feeling" of even wanting to note it down somewhere.

I'm a closet-one too many things and this closet of mine, I'm afraid, is full till the extent that it's on the verge of bursting. It's suffocating in here.

If I talk about school now, would it seem like a mandatory thing to do, or would it appear to be that I am truly concerned about what goes on there.

And if I'm truly concerned, is it a want or need thing?

Needs are basic but they shouldn't fill up my entire life.

Another vague post but I shall inject a little bimbotic-ness where I'm about to end: I HATE MY HAIR. Mid-length. Totally mah fan. I wanna just walk out of my house with gorgeous flowing locks but this limp, lacklustre lump of thing just refuses to cooperate.

Hmph!

2006-08-13T01:44:00.000+08:00

Consequences.

I beat red lights on purpose, with the intention to risk but no guarantee of being capable of bearing the consequences.

Is this stupidity or what, huh. Hah...

Frivolous

2006-08-05T09:36:00.000+08:00

Frivolous

adj : not serious in content or attitude or behavior; "a frivolous novel"; "a frivolous remark"; "a frivolous young woman"

Finallly, some inspiration to blog (!!).

I hate frivolous people. They make me lose my sleep. :( Things are hardly ever perfect but I always picture the perfect scenarios in my mind.

Gotta scratch that habit. Soon.

Dammit. Unsweetened coffee first thing in the morning, on an empty stomach. My heart's in a state of flux right now; it's beating FAST.

Ugh.

Steph's 20th At Sushi Tei

2006-07-27T23:54:00.000+08:00

Steph's 20th At Sushi Tei

For lack of a better title, yes, we celebrated Steph's 20th birthday at Holland V's Sushi Tei yesterday and judging from the happy faces you see in these pictures, you know we had funnn. :)

The Silly 2s! 'Nuff said. (photographer did not assist in styling for the above shots taken)

I'm going to miss those shoulders for the next 9 months to come. :(

Bottom right: You're right. Nini was blatantly attempting to SEDUCE me. Look at my half-disgusted, half-ridiculed facial expression. "Youuuu wanna seduce meee?" Hahh. :P

Good ambience + Even better company = A wonderful Wednesday night spent.

Blame

2006-07-26T00:37:00.000+08:00

Blame

There are so many people and things I can and want to blame but in reality, I should be the sole party held responsible.

It hurts, but I guess the person who does the most belittling is none other than myself.

Why does it hurt?

Because I've decided to put it on me to declare war, to set out on this journey that doesn't seem to ever end. It just gets longer and more meandering as I put down more of the baggages I've brought along with me from the point where this all began.

Baggages; Emotional baggages.

If only I could hurl them away with a jab of the elbow, a filmsy punch; I could be so much better.

I know it. We all know this, no?

I am so sick of everything. Tomorrow is going to be the end and start.

It's going to happen.

To Dos

2006-07-20T23:45:00.000+08:00

To Dos

Holidays are ending and I realised to my horror!!!! I haven't accomplished 4263746818 out of the 4263746818 things I had set out to do before the long-awaited freedom measuring 3 months in total length.

Now that School of Doom is waiting for me; in less than 4 weeks, it's going to eat me whole, I figured I'd better come up with a last minute condensed list of things-to-do and try to accomplish it within the pathetic remains of these 3 months for fear that this lousy procrastinating habit grows into Year 2, Sem 1.

Here goes the reviewed list:

1. NOT shop. - This is a negative 'to do' if you noticed. I've figured it's easier than saying, "Save money!!!" Negatives shall work on me this time round. Unless by serendipity, I chanced upon lovely and timeless items, I shall NOT. be. moved. Screw you shopping malls, stop walking towards meeeeee!

2. Pack room - Wardrobe, book shelves and CD shelf are in great need of some major tending to!

3. Get the photo collage thing going - Which means getting all my pics developed and arranging them on the new bigass photoframe I got. :) You who's reading this will have your picture included, don't worry!

4. Revise econs before school term starts.

5. REALLY try to accomplish #4.

6. Pay 100% attention in school should #4 and #5 fail. :S

7. Plan next sem's time-table well so I don't get 8 am to 6pm days EVER.

8. Read more arty farty books.

9. Visit some famous place of interest, excluding clubs.

10. Club ONCE before 14 Aug.

It's a perfect 10. ;)

Cloudy. Clouded

2006-07-20T16:52:00.000+08:00

Cloudy. Clouded

If I were to have it my way, I wouldn't ask for "world peace" but for our world to be free of emotional shackles.

It's always back to the same thing. I'm always running on Square 1. Heck, I don't even know if I can call it running because I just don't move on. Do I choose not to or have I been brainwashed to worship things which are always out of my league?

There's simply no end to this.

And no one has ever taught me a shit about "loving yourself" so Cloudy Clouded Woman's here to stay.

Xizzy's Back!!! :)

2006-07-19T21:56:00.000+08:00

Xizzy's Back!!! :)

This is kinda late but yeah! Xizzy Babe's back! Since the 17th! Groupie us even made signs to welcome her at the airport. ;)

She's still her usual bouncy self. I'm glad. :)

Expectations

2006-07-14T22:03:00.000+08:00

Expectations

I'm beginning to believe that Expectations should be added on to the list of the 7 deadly sins of this world. I hail it the 8th, because it's almost always a cause of things to fail and for disappointment, even though it does ignite a little bit of competitiveness for some of us.

Even then, what sort of competitive spirit does it induce? Something that is on the verge of spite? Bitterness?

If we could delete e.x.p.e.c.t.a.t.i.o.ns. from our minds, perhaps many people and things around us will seem so much more beautiful and gracious.

Which is why I celebrate serendipity.

Zilch expectations, maximum bliss. :)

2006-07-11T22:53:00.000+08:00

I Like Her. She Seems HAPPY.

2006-07-11T20:31:00.000+08:00

Cat Power

What comes is better than what came before.

I'm inhaling unhappiness by the minute; I have no idea why and how to remedy this.

Happy people either live in denial everyday or are very oblivious to flaws and cracks.

It's time to usher myself into the centre of this invisible tornado already. Fuck whatever and whoever keeps pushing me out of the calm region.

It takes 2 hands to clap, doesn't it?

Everything seems to be following the same pattern. An ominous repetition. Medium. What is meant to be yours will be yours. Evil people, beware. Cruelty strikes more than once.

2006-07-10T23:51:00.000+08:00

A Sucker Sucks.

So, it's a month to the end of this previously highly anticipated 3 months long holidays and what the *insert any vulgarity here* have I accomplished?!

I was excited about doing so many things - Top of my list, a HOLIDAY. But have I saved up enough for a reasonably luxurious trip?

Okay, enough already. I hear the POSB people laughing.

I need to offer my apologies to Fi and Zhen: I'm lousy with my accounts. I wonder when that holiday is ever going to materialize. Shoot me if it doesn't! :'( It's my fault, I know. I'm living in denial, thinking that sum of money is going to come to me as time passes but the truth is, I know it WON'T until I change my spending habits!

Then add on the miscellaneous items on my to-do list - Set up my accessories business, rent DVDs of all the movies I've wanted to catch but didn't manage to, LOSE major weight, take up drawing lessons, learn how to cook and sew from my mum yadah yadah yadah...

Lindsay Lohan apparently said this once, "I don't want to be the best-dressed person in the poorhouse."

Can I scream back at her, "Me neither!"

(Except her poorhouse will be filled with people just slightly less rich than Paris Hilton, but still.)

Another inadequate moment to be added to my life.

Screw it, I really hate this. Non-stop working and no money. The most insulting and injurious oxymoron ever. :\

Is it any wonder?

2006-07-09T22:20:00.000+08:00

Is it any wonder?

When something is "not good enough", does that mean it is bad by default, or just not as good as it should be? Will that make that something normal at least?

Shamed. And wondering.

Where are my lashes?

2006-07-07T20:03:00.000+08:00

Where are my lashes?

(taken off a Physicians' Formula ad which caught my eye):

Where are my lashes?

Oh, there they are.

Hello, my short little friends.

Maybe I'll just get false eyelashes.

Then I can look like a drag queen.

Or maybe a lounge singer.

Vegas, here I come.

Wahahahahaa. This echoes my thoughts exactly!

Boobies

2006-07-04T23:33:00.000+08:00

Boobies

Today, I'm gonna talk about boobies.

I'm not sure if it's because we've all grown older or what, but it seems like many of my girlfriends (yes, youuuuu reading this should be included) seem to be pretty obsessed about them.

From the feedback, I've gathered, it seems like fun to have:

1. Larger boobies

AND

2. Cleavage

My primary instinct is to link the 1 and 2 because logically, if you have big boobs, you should have deep cleavage too, unless you are the sort who scrimp on bras and buy those cheap ones which do not provide any form of support whatsoever.

Thesis: I am anti-cleavage, pro-proportion.

There lies the purpose in today's entry.

I found this picture of this skinny bitch wearing a "boob top" on the VS webby and I believe she epitomizes the ideal booby woman which most females dream of being.

I say, please wake up.

Realistically speaking, in order to own cleavage of that kind of depth (average measurement: 7.958 cm long and 3.217 cm deep. Parallex error taken into account), you gotta be at least a D cup. That woman may look photograph well, but if you imagine her picture to be blown up to life-size proportions, her boobies are just gonna jump out at you and scare everyone in sight!

Porn stars and lingerie models work hard to fulfill their duties and that is to flash flash flash. The rest of us, modest beings will not feel comfortable copycat-ing them.

Think about that.

Will you really feel comfortable placing your boobies and cleavage on display?

Seriously, I don't think so. Not in public, at least.

But if you still insist your answer is "yes", then enlighten me on why?! Is the idea of getting leered at very enticing?

And anyway, everyone's frame is different so proportion counts too.

There! Be happy about what you have already! :D

Hot Ears.

2006-07-04T00:14:00.000+08:00

Hot Ears.

What was IT?!

Ugh

2006-07-02T00:54:00.000+08:00

Ugh

I GIVE UP ON MY SKIN.

CRAZY Hormones, you may take control over it. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!

:'(

Loop Service

2006-06-30T23:58:00.000+08:00

Loop Service

I thought I was tired and when I finally woke up from this long slumber, the sign read, "Loop Service".

It's a half jest, half jaded feeling.

Nonetheless, take care.

Blurry is better than crystal clear sometimes, so don't worry.

2006-06-27T23:55:00.000+08:00

Hilarious Picture

Move over, GPs! It's HP's heyday now!

Shopping trio. :D White bug-eyed shades from Forever 21 were initially used as our prop for this silly picture but I ended up buying it because it. LOOKS. TOO. COOL. And we look even cooler with the price tags hanging down our noses, don't we. ;)

Whee!

Vintage watch pendant. :D Cool red (Fi, I know what you are gonna say... :P) pants tailormade by Mummy!!! The one and only piece in the world and guess what, it fits me to a T! She spent 1 whole day working on it, no wonder I felt stressed fretting over what to match it with.

2006-06-24T22:22:00.000+08:00

Kids Are Cute, So Is 77

And you wonder why my maternal instincts are on overdrive. Will you just look at how cute those 2 little beings are?!

Borrowed wholly and prior to getting permission from Fish (hope you don't mind, but I'm too lazy to write about class dinner and we'll probably end up sounding the same anyway. :P)

"BEWARE! here is the start of a what might be a very vicious post.

finally after many confusing emails, half of 77 finally gathered for dinner at suntec. it started of promising, with most of us turning up on time :)

and then things took a turn for the worst. the queue outside f i s h a n d c o was crazily long, and unfortunately (i?) decided we might as well wait as most of the other restaurants were crowded. huge mistake. the promised 20-30 min wait turned out to be more than the 45 min we thought it might be, leaving us stranded tired hungry for an hour!

fortunately (so i thought) a waitress finally decided to take our orders so we'd be served the food faster when we got seated.. but she took three attempts to get our orders straight. so perhaps this is to be expected of a friday night.. but there's more to come! after waiting for another 15 minutes at least, the food finally appeared. in Takeaway BOXES!! eventually served on proper plates, the soggy fries tasted good, despite being squashed and only warm- that's what hunger does.

upon calling for the bill, slower ho (who wasn't slow at all in this one case) realised we were overcharged for our one-for-one drinks. in response to our queries, the waitress insisted it was only for citibank card holders, when clearly it was a promotion with no conditions. reluctantly she checked and later told us we needed to pay up first and then get -another- receipt for the actual cost. ?!?!?!

the last straw (before all was settled) was when another waiter brought more drinks that -they- thought were our missing "free one-for-one" drinks (as in, they thought we ordered 8 sets of 1-for-1s although we actually asked for 8 drinks in total). he spilt all the glasses of soda shortly after we burst out in bewildered laughter :S"

Everyone, boycott Fish and Co Suntec unless you like -
1. Waiting for an hour to get a table
2. Having your food served in plastic takeaway boxes when you actually intend to eat in after getting that table you waited an hour for
3. confusing 1-for-1 deals!

Flea market was a blast today. Still waiting for pics, will blog about it soon! :D

2006-06-21T23:11:00.000+08:00

LIME Flea Market

Yun, Clara, PQ and I will be sharing a stall (yes, us so cheapskate. 4 people sharing 1 miserable stall!) this Saturday, 24th June at Scape, which is the small grass field area behind cine. We'll be there from 1 to 7 pm, peddling some of our handmade items, old clothes, shoes and bags.

Do drop by if you're around the area! :D

Put In Place

2006-06-21T22:21:00.000+08:00

Put In Place

It's amazing how long I've taken to put it into perspective and stop letting it bother me. But yeah. It's done.

I am no longer bothered; in fact, I'm happy!

So, God has been very kind and fair to me so far. :)

Couldn't ask for more.

Just My Luck

2006-06-17T23:54:00.000+08:00

Just My Luck

Following the phenomenal success of 'Mean Girls', the chick flick trio met up for another Lindsay feature, 'Just My Luck' today and took a gazillion pictures!

P plates united! Wonder what Eh is scared of. Hilarious!

2006-06-14T21:00:00.000+08:00

The Right Diagnosis

Straight off an international brand DIY hair colour pack's instruction leaflet:

"Successful colouring starts with the right colour choice for you.

Here's a professional tip for establishing the right balance between your selected colour and your hair: Cover your hair with a white cloth and hold and orange cloth, then a pink cloth close to your cheek:

If the orange is more flattering, then warm colours suit you best.
If the pink is more flattering, then cool colours suit you best."

Hahahahahaha this so cracked me up.

Exactly HOW a piece of orange/pink cloth is supposed to "flatter" anyone with an equally stupid looking white cloth draped over the head, I don't know.

Copper red. I'm just waiting for the right time. ;)

2006-06-13T01:02:00.000+08:00

For Sure.

I spent today realising how I really adore pay days and also wondering at the same time, why is it that some people don't bother bathing at all.

Thank god the smell of crisp new notes made up for the stale smell on public transport!

Being in the fish tank can be a very self-reflective experience.

Adventure Weekend

2006-06-11T23:09:00.000+08:00

Adventure Weekend

Saturday was spent at Clara's ASOC (SMU's accountancy society) camp's photoshoot. FUN FUN FUN. Tiring because it took a whole day but it was definitely an eye-opener seeing a proper photoshoot done for the first time! :D

The female model had, namely 2 looks - Smokey eyed, ala Nicole Kidman in Chanel No.5 and a 'wet look' as the second more refreshing take, courtesy of Miss Pristiq. The male model had only 1 look though - Oily abs. Hahahahaa... One cannot do with an obscene 8 packs. I should have asked for one pair to be donated to me!

Anyway, there is so much work put in each picture that it becomes unimaginable for me to think of anyone not giving any credit to good fashion spreads they see in magazines. The next time you do come across one, savour it, worship and lick it all up. It's hell a lot of hard work pumped in by the make-up artistes, hairstylists, stylists and photography team!!!

Slightly outdate pictures on the top - After Xiz's house visit, met up with lil' Lulu in town. Nini's very cute Topshop animal necklace got in the way of her boobs (WAHAH), GP3 came out looking like total SHIT, miniature panties mannequins are so cute. :)

Been moonlighting at Mac's, so that explains the red cap I'm wearing beside YR. Oh, and that fat face too. By the way, someone got a brand new earhole.

Guess WHOOOOO... ;)

Pardon the highness. It is, after all, a weekend and I've just came home from shoppppppping.

Home Visit

2006-06-09T22:30:00.000+08:00

Home Visit. Fed Up

Xizzy was such a naughty kid! The visit we paid to her mum totally confirm all our suspicions about her as a supper fighter warrior kid. Tsktsk. ;) Now we have enough evidence for blackmail! :P Horrrrrrrrrrrr.

*** (on a completely different topic)
I'm so fed up with the ignorant people.

"I think you look better without your make-up."

Grrrrrrrr.

What do you know and why do you care?

Ignorance, not always bliss.

2006-06-07T01:30:00.000+08:00

Make Up Forever III

Smoke attack! The result of 2 hours of practice and another 1 and a half hours of the real thing. This picture makes it look deceptively simple. Trust me, you'd be amazed by the amount of work put into just one eye. The blending took forever... Heh. I LOVE IT! Doesn't this look more like a proper eye now? :D

And hey, it's not every day that I get to be a model, so here's a mini photojournal! :)

Yo, waddap. The pop rock gansta says hi. ;) The blush looks kinda harsh under this lighting but I'm really digging the smokey eyes.

Thanks to Priscilla for being so patient and professional in insisting on perfection! She definitely passed with flying colours and it was obvious she topped the class. ;P

Definitely felt uncomfortable having 10 people staring at my face all at once but having someone fuss over my face while I sit high up on a director's chair is a simply D.I.V.I.N.E experience. Pampering!

Make Up Forever II

2006-06-07T01:04:00.000+08:00

Make Up Forever II

Since it was a test after all, the make-up teacher set a question for the 4 students in that class and it was written on a whiteboard!

Read:
"Charity show at Youth Park. 3pm. Young MC in her early 20s."
"8pm. Same MC will perform an item. (sing and dance to a pop rock tune)"

Tadah! The master with her answer to that test question. This is the intended "pop rock" look. :) If you think the make-up looks heavy here, I swear I looked like a wayang troupe member under the bright white studio lights. There were SO MANY layers of things that went onto my face -
1. Make-up base to neutralise the sallowness of my skin
2. Tons of concealor to cover up my blemishes
3. Foundation
4. Contouring colours for the cheeks and jawline. Not any part of the face can be left out!
5. Layers and layers of eyeshadow and an assortment of blushers of different colours for a blended look.
6. Fake eyelashes. So dramatic, so Priscilla.

During the evaluation, Priscilla's teacher asked if she took a picture of me before I had the make up done. Reason being she wanted to show the entire class the before and after pictures so she can convince them I'm a classic example of how "good make up can enlarge small eyes".

"When she came in, I couldn't even see her eyes! She had like no eyes. Her eyes are really, really small but Priscilla has done such a good job in making them look so much bigger! Now, her eyes are so much less puffy and she actually has sockets!"

$!%^&^%$!#!

How dare she discriminate small-eyed people like me! No eyes? Thank you very much.

Nonetheless, I still felt happy for Priscilla because me, being the foul-proof subject helped in impressing her teacher since I went from no eyes to big eyes! Hee.

Since the make up academy is near Citilink, we went back to the stall for a while and that's our lao ban niang at work. Hahaha...

Make Up Forever

2006-06-07T00:42:00.000+08:00

Make Up Forever

Fun day. :)

Out of sheer desperation, Priscilla (ie. my boss who's advancing her make-up skills) approached me to be her model for her make up test today! Desperation, I say, because which idiot in the right mind would wanna use the chinese version of Frankenstein's bride as a make-up model?

Priscilla was digging her own grave.

The studio...

They had about a gazillion palettes and all sorts of books and magazines on make-up!

Under construction. Priscilla originally wanted to do turquoise colours for my eyes but de (evil) teacher said it makes my eyes look puffy. Hmph. *puff puff puff*

Sucker.

2006-06-04T23:19:00.000+08:00

Chidlish Sucker.

YES, Hip Hop and RnB are for kids still tied to their mothers' apron strings so let me be that kiddd.

Hmmmm... When was the last time I clubbed? Probably around the time when our national anthem was written. Oh wait, actually it could have been when the light bulb was invented! Oh no no, I think I vaguely remember meeting a certain Adam and Eve in da club, sipping some apple martinis...

Wahahahaha...

Wth. Come with me! :D You can have all my free drinks, especially the Vodkas. :S

Tagged

2006-06-03T23:29:00.000+08:00

Tagged!

By Fi. :) I do hope this tagging business isn't too meaningless for anyone. It's, after all, 1130 pm now and I'm breaking my vow of sleeping early as a remedy to my acned-skin because I don't feel the least sleepy.

I AM: ambiguous, inadequate. Shady character!

I WANT: to have my cake and eat it. Literally, sometimes. More wisdom lah, basically.

I WISH: fashion can love me back as much as I love it. To be free of jealousy, spite and the feeling of never being good enough.

I HATE: being accused of doing things I dhaven't done, lacking the means to a desired end, being called FAT (really, I HATE IT when it happens), my rebonded hair, PHONE THIEVES, Ah Liangs and Ah Bengs, rainy days, the scorching weather, dust, oh no this one can go on forever!

I MISS: RG, Xizzy being around in Singapore, coming out tops in class (or anything at all, for that matter).

I FEAR: being trapped in 1 single place, LONELINESS.

I HEAR: peace and insecurity. Hurhur, figure that out.

I WONDER: when enough is enough. You just aren't turning up, are you? Oh, and how and when I'm ever gonna get rich.

I REGRET: bringing my bro to the swimming pool that day which led to the subsequent loss of 1 of his front teeth. I do, really. His teeth aren't looking very pretty now and the dental procedures he'll have to go through is going to cost an estimated 3, 4 K? :S Heeeelp.

I AM NOT: as stern and no-nonsense as I look.

I SING: when I think no one's looking. WAHAH.

I CRY: at the most inappropriate times. :'(

I AM NOT ALWAYS: able to handle criticism, so give me some warning in advice if you intend to provide CONSTRUCTIVE ones. :)

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: what I'm made to do in this life. The only thing I'm good at and never got groomed to excel in...

I WRITE: in awkward sentence structures. Know I yeah already!

I CONFUSE: pork with beef.

I NEED: to be less spiteful and channel that energy towards something more meaningul. SOME GOOD LUCK! Oh, plus loads of money and a hunky dory bf. Apply at the tagboard by the side please. :D

I SHOULD: save (more) and frown less (at the ATM screen that stares back at me at the end of the month).

I START: wriggling my toes whenever I get bored. Spending as soon as I get my paychecks (HORRENDOUS HABIT). Daydreaming the moment no one talks to me. My day off really grouchy in the mornings when someone else at home beats me to the bathroom.

I FINISH: (don't really know what to put for this) an apple a day, at least? :P

I LOVE: my then good skin, clothes, shoes, bags and accessories, the underdogs and most importantly, the people around me who keep me sane. :)

I REMEMBER: the scene at my maternal grandfather's wake, the red ribbons my mum used to tie around my hair, my fat past and random people's birthdays and numbers!

Okay, whoever feels like doing this, please post away! ;)

GSS + GP2 (Attempted)

2006-06-02T23:09:00.000+08:00

GSS + GP2 (Attempted)

Terrific Thursday!

There's nothing as exhilarating as cheap and chic buys under the company of not 1, but 2 very lovely ladies! :D

2 new tops and a pair of 'magic-school-bus-yellow' patent slippers richer. ;) I love whoever came up with patent as a material! Plastic or leather, I'm stoked.

We wanted to recreate Gorgeous Picture 1, so we took about 50 over shots I think. Unfortunately, the lighting at Wisma is apparently a far cry from Marina's because none of them were of comparable standard when measured against GP1!

Remember this <--?

Perfect lighting, angle and positioning! How can anyone create such a beautiful self-taken picture?!

Some good things only come once. :P

And I just realised I'm not gonna get paid as much as I thought I'd be. :'(

2006-05-31T00:14:00.000+08:00

The Unveiling...

And to drive away all that warth I've incurred earlier on from that ingrate tuition girl...

I'm gonna be a little egoistic here and post some of the pictures of the necklaces I've made over the past few weeks.

My little bouts of "inspiration" come at very erratic times, so I work hard to capture them! :P The first two were done at some unearthly 3 am I believe (and to think the past me would have clubbed the night away instead of fiddling with all these things) while the others done just a few hours ago! I spent like 4, 5 solid hours on them, so please understand why I'm getting a little carried away. ;) My left thumb and index finger are both swollen now after all that yanking and twisting of the little parts of the necklaces. The 7mm ringlets KILL! My left thumb's fingernail si all chipped now. Ugly!

Enjoy and let me know how much you think a potential customer would be willing to pay for each piece!

(trying to do a little bit of marketing here as well!)

2006-05-31T00:07:00.000+08:00

The Spunky Ballerina

I associate ballet with guniangs but since I'm anti-guniangs, ie anything too dainty, I opted for a more ruggard look to this piece. Again, thick silver chains with black and white pearl trimmings for contast. A ballerina pendant, clear crystal look alike thingy with a small chiffon flower makes up this family!

2006-05-30T23:57:00.000+08:00

Victorian Rose

This was the piece which earned me a "Wahh! I wanna buy this! So nice!" comment from a customer at the stall I work at, so I might be "mass producing" this in future. :P

No catch for this one, just black felt thread with adjustable knots. The big ass purple rose goes pretty well with the large white pearl trimmings and antique-ish-looking pendant, no?

2006-05-30T23:49:00.000+08:00

Rafflesian!

Those are school colours! Green, black and white. Whoo. :D

Felt thread weaved into a silver chain with a catch attached. Black pearl trimmings cut across this in an assymetric manner. White, round pendant backs those pretty turqouise feathers up!

The shortest of the lot. Most likely to be a necklace of the 'usual' length.

2006-05-30T23:41:00.000+08:00

Blink! Bling 2

This is for all those who have a thing for the number 2 (not me, the singleton, that's for sure!).

Yes, the disco ball strikes again! This time, on a safety pin attached to a piece of distressed denim and a you-cannot-miss-it-even-if-you-are-blind pendant. :) The chain is extra long for this piece because it's meant to be worn with the pendant at mid-waist level.

Cheers to all bling lovers!

2006-05-30T23:28:00.000+08:00

Yellow Disco Star

Wahhh, what a cheesy sounding name but it's just too convenient for me to call this piece that. ;) A striped star plastic pendant shares the limelight with the string of small disco balls rested on an assymetric layout of thick silver chains with black pearl trimmings!

Can anyone say retrrrrrro?

Fuck Those Pee-Are-Sees

2006-05-30T22:26:00.000+08:00

Fuck Those Pee-Are-Sees

My hands are shaking and my cold blood is boiling as I'm typing this.

I received a call from the tuition agent who offered me the PRC assignment and it shocked the hell out of me.

She told me the student's mother was extremely unhappy with my service for the past month and to that, she listed the following FALSE accusations at me- Supposedly...
1. I was chronically late - I was, for the ONLY the first lesson because I really lost my way but I did finish the stipulated 2 hours, ie, started late, ended late too. And I apologised profusely!
2. I told her daughter to do "whatever homework" she had with the last half an hour of a lesson. FUCK YOU. I told her to choose between compre and compo because she complained that the earlier vocab practice I assigned her was too boring so I thought I'd be more flexible with her. So I guess she wanted me to come up with something both enriching and interesting at the same time, like juggling assesment books like a clown, maybe?
3. I used my hp a lot during lessons and there was once the conversation was quite long because I called my Dad and he couldn't hear me, so I had to repeat what I said. - I asked her daughter for permission to give my Dad a quick call ONCE and I swear to the gods that conversation was less than a minute.
4. I gave the student a lot of trouble with my timings - I asked her if it was possible to bring a lesson forward by 2 days because I thought I was going to be busy on the day we agreed to have tuition on. When I found out it wasn't conveninent for her, I backed out on the idea and reverted back to the original plan.

This is more than just a shock for me, it's a DIRECT INSULT to my dignity! All along, both the mother and daughter have been pretty friendly and polite towards me so I really didn't sense that I was causing them even the slightest unhappiness or inconvenience.

I mean, FUCK IT. Which tutor bothers to bring extra reading materials like the Reader's Digest and Time magazines for a tuition session, on top of scouring for assesment books for their students?!

I think I've been responsible and helpful enough, thank you very much.

Even if she/(or her daughter, more importantly) felt I was not doing a proper job, she could have just told me directly and earlier on, perhaps? Instead of waiting till the agent calls and asks her for the 50% fucking commission, right?

The most appalling thing is the freakin' neurotic and outrightly ureasonable mother REFUSES TO PAY the agent her rightful 50% of my 1 month's pay. She is supopsed to pay the agent $100 but only wants to fork out half of that amount and EXPECTS ME to top up the agent with the extra $50 because apparently, I've been incompetent, problematic and irresponsible.

Fine. I'm guessing that measly $50 feeds your entire family for a whole month anyway.

No more cramming of tuition assignments for me. I've had enough of all this. Suddenly, I feel like the whole world's doubting me and waiting for the right moment to pounce on me and point an accusing finger at me for all the things I thought I've been doing right. I feel like I've seen a lot of the ugly side of this world lately.

I hope that liar daughter of hers fails her O levels.

2006-05-29T00:19:00.000+08:00

I Scream.

I have enough ice-cream at home to feed an ENTIRE army barrack. Those suspicious looking cardboard boxes you see contain one of the highest ranked items on the Top 100 Sinful Food list: ICE-CREAM/I SCREAM. This is what happens when you have parents who are constantly on the lookout for warehouse sales and they had to stumble upon an ice-cream one this rainy Sunday.

A total of $51.50 worth of I Scream-s. NO KIDDING. They've come in full force; an assortment of cones, tubs, caked, nutted, potong-ed and what not. Impressive, no doubt, but very intimidating!

I am quite scared.

(Have you ever seen anyone buy ice-cream in such large quantities?!!!?! Obviously, my mum went a bit siao and fell for all the 1-for-1s. :S)

FINALLY got down to Singtel and signed on a zero-dollahhh baby. No more heartaches even if I lose my phone again (CHOEIII but yeah). ;) I kinda like the charm a lot. (read: Hand/self-made!!!) Most importantly, I've gotten a replacement SIM card and I'm contactable once again at the old number k!

*****

On Wednesday, 24th May, we lost an angel...

She will be loved.

*****

What she is doesn't mean you aren't.

:\

2006-05-27T11:07:00.000+08:00

:\

Phew.

Recluse

2006-05-26T00:01:00.000+08:00

Recluse

Today is still a bad day, a continuation of the bad luck bestowed upon me.

And I've just decided to officially go into reclusion.

Bye, everyone.

You'd continue living in bliss, I just know. :)

Feels Like It

2006-05-24T21:39:00.000+08:00

Feels Like It

Sometimes, I really can't help but feel and think that I'm all alone in the world.

No one talkable is online and signed into MSN.
Blogs not updated, tags not replied.
Don't even know if I received any smses or calls.

One thing's for sure though - everyone's out having a good time.

I hate it when I know I'm building my world around a group of people who have so much more surrounding their own lives.

I am the parasite, leeching onto you for support while in turn, the little bit of gratitude and company I offer is not even a requirement for your own happiness. Your lives are filled with love, fun and excitement while mine is dull, monotonous and emotionally-draining.

What else can it contain besides unhappiness and work?

Hah, NOTHING, I'm afraid.

And she wonders why I rely so much on material comfort. Perhaps I deserve this. It is a viscious cycle after all. Work engulfs my life and makes it boring but I was the one who made the conscious decision of volunteering my services. Why? So I can fill my pockets with M.O.N.E.Y and stuff my face silly with indulgent materialism in hope of driving away that horrible and painful feeling called loneliness.

Admit it, you may not mind me but you do not need me. I am the one who is needy.

Needy, selfish and bitter.

You tell me my time will come. I want to tell you I wish I have to be able to pull through this point in time before I even get there.

Screw it, nobody reads this anyway.

Guilt-Ridden

2006-05-24T00:43:00.000+08:00

Guilt-Ridden

Okay, it took me one whole day to pluck up enough courage to tell my Dad about the loss of my phone.

I just told him what happened.

Now, the guilt is eating into me.

He needs to take time off work to do the necessary paperwork with me for a replacement SIM card and he was right when he said, "$400 gone, just like that."

"You haven't seen enough of the world."

I certainly have not.

Anyway, the acne antibiotics leaves me feeling extremely lethargic and even drowsy! Forgot to ask the doc about the "only" side effect but I guess I know now.

Sheer bad luck with EVERYTHING. I am going to strike 4D tomorrow to make this all different!

One Phone To See It All

2006-05-23T00:38:00.000+08:00

One Phone To See It All

It is most unfortunate and unthinkable, but it really did happen. Never thought I'd be a victim, but apparently a bastard just made it happened to me.

No, I'm not having a child out of wedlock.

My phone got stolen while I was at work today.

Usually, I'm not an evil person but from the bottom of my heart, just for this exceptional instance, I SINCERELY HOPE THE CULPRIT(S) GET RUN OVER BY A CAR. OR JUST DIE FROM HANDPHONE RADIATION (may my trusty Nokia 6170 turn into a mighty powerradiationhouse the moment it realises it's not with its rightful owner and shock that fucking asshole to death).

:'(

I think it happened while I was serving some customers on the side of the stall that's opposite our 'work' area where I left my phone in a hurry when a customer called out to me.

Come on, the phone is such a personal item! It means so many things to me - obviously, contacts of friends and family, pictures of the good old times (nope, no naughty videos that's for sure) and so much sentimental value!

I remember my Dad forking out more than freakin' 400 bucks for that phone which is not the norm for a tech idiot like me (it's definitely worth much less now, but was pretty ex because when I got it, the model was just launched). It's just that I was so in love with the sleek metallic casing of the phone and it was supposed be my reward for scoring 3 As in the A levels.

A gift from my Dad for academics. Definitely not a norm, either. It's always been my mum who runs the award ceremonies.

Now, it's gone.

I don't even know what to say anymore because I still can't believe that just happened in probably less than 5 hours ago.

My pay for the past week (ie. the slogging for the past 5 days of work, enduring the 12 hour shifts, annoying, demanding and deadbeat customers, all the dust at the stall) can't even cover the cost of the phone.

(meanwhile, you might not be able to get me at the old number because I have to bring my Dad down to Singtel to get my sim card replaced and I STILL DO NOT DARE TO BREAK THE NEWS TO MY PARENTS, so I'm gonna be indefinitely phoneless. If there's an emergency, reach me at home at 68998696!)

And I finally went to see a proper derma this morning. When I applied the medication on my face, some trickled down onto my right eyelid but thank god I shut my eyes in time otherwise I'd be both phoneless and blind.

Oh, and not to forget, BROKE as well.

Argggghhh.

2006-05-21T00:06:00.000+08:00

Mortifying.

Been too caught up with work to share this mortifying experience I had.

On Wednesday, I served this customer who told me he wanted to buy something for his children, a boy of 6 and a girl of 9. He is an Indonesian tourist.

So naturally, after he picked out the cutesy stuff for them and moved on to the more "womanly" section containing jewellery and stuff, I asked, "Would you like to get something for your wife as well?"

He paused, put a hand to his chest and said, "My wife?"

"She passed away already."

I think my apology was only blurted out after some pregnant pause of about 3 seconds. :S He looked like such a loving father, the incident honestly left me feeling very, very sad for him for the rest of the day and even till now while I'm typing this out. :(

From that moment on, I've decided very selfishly that I'd really want to leave this world before my (future) husband (assuming I still believe in the notion of marriage when I get to a more marriageable age) does.

It's just too much pain to bear to be left alone, don't you think?

Half Of Me Left

2006-05-16T00:24:00.000+08:00

Half Of Me Left

Too tired to attempt to type in prose, hence.

1. First day of work. Exhausted.
2. Working at Citilink, one of the push-cart stalls owned by the people from the neighbouring stall of Flaschengeist last dec!
3. Have to carry a pouch containing float and the day's earnings the whole day while working. SCARY BURDEN. Now, don't mug me while I go to the loo.
3. Ran short of a couple of bucks while doing closing. WHY?!!!!! What is wrong with my counting?!!!!!!
4. Got handed the keys to the stall. Responsibility. Sigh.
5. Wore a new necklace I made and a customer commented that it's really nice! ;) Cheap thrill.
6. Eyebrow-raising incident:
Me: (smiles politely) Hello, I'm Gwen, you are?
Girl at neighbouring stall selling ching chong accessories: (gives me this ultra incredulous look) Huh?
Me: I said I'm Gwen, your name is...?
Girl: Oh, JL.
Me: Thanks for helping me mend my stall while I went to get a drink just now.
Girl: No prob. Oh, you used to sell *makes a vague drinking action and points to the spot in Citilink where the Flaschengeist stall used to be* that, that...
Me: Dessert wine? (??!!!!?!!!!!!)
Girl: Yeah yeah! Very nice!
Me: Oh, so you mean you recognise me?! *raises eyebrows*
Girl: Yeah yeah! Short hair...

Whatever. I felt like poking her 'princess curls'.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Sadist Moi

2006-05-14T22:16:00.000+08:00

Sadist Moi

I'm so hungry and my entire body's feeling so sore. Figure that out.

No pain, no gain yeah.

Work starts tomorrow and I'm kinda excited. ;) 11 hours of standing straight with no proper lunch/dinner break means I'll be able to shed the pounds faster.

If only this can be an overnight thing.

7326

2006-05-13T23:03:00.000+08:00

7326

11 x 666m covered = 7326m = 7.326 km = 45 minutes of uninterrupted endorphin release. :)

I'm so not a morning runner.

What are you waiting for, go buy 4D!!! It's a new record!

Whee.

"There's always tomorrow..."

2006-05-12T18:27:00.000+08:00

There's always tomorrow..."

I'm such a hopelessly disgusting procrastinator. There's 77 class outing which I'm too lazy to go for (oh no, Fish, please don't kill me!), a proposal to do for the volunteer conference (fi! Where are you?!!!), new magazines to read, weights to lift, self-made accessories to pack and amend (everything's looking like a mess now and I so badly need nicer charms and stuff) BUT I'd rather just sit here and vegetate away.

3 more tuition hurdles to clear this week. GOD I HATE THIS BUT I NEED THE MONEY! ARGH. Oh, and I'm starting work at Citilink next week. Be prepared to see very little of me soon.

Might as well drown myself with work to fill the vacancies in my life. At least I'll have some moolah to keep in the pockets.

Where are you. I want to glow too, thank you very much.

If these walls could speak, they would have nothing to say.

I am not seeing an end to this.

0805 is PQ's Birthday!

2006-05-08T20:51:00.000+08:00

0805 is PQ's Birthday!

Birthday treat for PQ and belated birthday treat for Clara at Dashing Divas! Whoo. Wish their service is as pretty as their deco though. The people there smile through gritted teeth and nothing felt very genuine to me but heck, they did do a good job and served our birthday girls well! :)

We tied a red balloon to Jimi and pasted him onto a piece of paper and presented it to PQ.

Birthday girl! Pink walls.

Polo jeans pin-ups. Hahahahaha...

THIS is tiredness.

THE Infatuation Continues

2006-05-07T23:47:00.000+08:00

THE Infatuation Continues

Oh gosh... Put me in a quaint little sewing supplies store stocked by many pretty charms, buttons, ribbons and I'm a gone woman! My mum brought me to this shop inside Beauty World owned by a really olddddddddd lady. She''s been patronizing the store ever since she started out as a young seamstress and that place sells such gorgeous buttons and the likes at real price-breakers!

Ask and it shall be given. They didn't lie to me, it's true! My 'more economic resources' just fell from the skies. :D We do need the experts to lead the way! We're exploring Chinatown and People's Park next week, can't wait! This is called post-exam bliss!

Oh, and I've dropped another kilo. The weighing scales are being rather nice to me these days. About time, I say!

So picturesque lately. My cam probably needs a break soon.