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fodder

the pebbles you've arranged,
in the sand they're strange.
they speak to me like constellations,
as we lie here.

archives

  • April 2006
  • May 2006
  • June 2006
  • July 2006
  • August 2006
  • September 2006
  • October 2006
  • November 2006
  • December 2006
  • January 2007


    • Wednesday, May 31, 2006

    The Unveiling...

    And to drive away all that warth I've incurred earlier on from that ingrate tuition girl...

    I'm gonna be a little egoistic here and post some of the pictures of the necklaces I've made over the past few weeks.

    My little bouts of "inspiration" come at very erratic times, so I work hard to capture them! :P The first two were done at some unearthly 3 am I believe (and to think the past me would have clubbed the night away instead of fiddling with all these things) while the others done just a few hours ago! I spent like 4, 5 solid hours on them, so please understand why I'm getting a little carried away. ;) My left thumb and index finger are both swollen now after all that yanking and twisting of the little parts of the necklaces. The 7mm ringlets KILL! My left thumb's fingernail si all chipped now. Ugly!

    Enjoy and let me know how much you think a potential customer would be willing to pay for each piece!

    (trying to do a little bit of marketing here as well!)

    00:14

    0 comments
    The Spunky Ballerina





















    I associate ballet with guniangs but since I'm anti-guniangs, ie anything too dainty, I opted for a more ruggard look to this piece. Again, thick silver chains with black and white pearl trimmings for contast. A ballerina pendant, clear crystal look alike thingy with a small chiffon flower makes up this family!

    00:07

    0 comments

    Tuesday, May 30, 2006

    Victorian Rose

    This was the piece which earned me a "Wahh! I wanna buy this! So nice!" comment from a customer at the stall I work at, so I might be "mass producing" this in future. :P

    No catch for this one, just black felt thread with adjustable knots. The big ass purple rose goes pretty well with the large white pearl trimmings and antique-ish-looking pendant, no?


    23:57

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    Rafflesian!

    Those are school colours! Green, black and white. Whoo. :D

    Felt thread weaved into a silver chain with a catch attached. Black pearl trimmings cut across this in an assymetric manner. White, round pendant backs those pretty turqouise feathers up!

    The shortest of the lot. Most likely to be a necklace of the 'usual' length.


    23:49

    0 comments
    Blink! Bling 2

    This is for all those who have a thing for the number 2 (not me, the singleton, that's for sure!).

    Yes, the disco ball strikes again! This time, on a safety pin attached to a piece of distressed denim and a you-cannot-miss-it-even-if-you-are-blind pendant. :) The chain is extra long for this piece because it's meant to be worn with the pendant at mid-waist level.

    Cheers to all bling lovers!


    23:41

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    Yellow Disco Star

    Wahhh, what a cheesy sounding name but it's just too convenient for me to call this piece that. ;) A striped star plastic pendant shares the limelight with the string of small disco balls rested on an assymetric layout of thick silver chains with black pearl trimmings!


    Can anyone say retrrrrrro?


    23:28

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    Fuck Those Pee-Are-Sees

    My hands are shaking and my cold blood is boiling as I'm typing this.

    I received a call from the tuition agent who offered me the PRC assignment and it shocked the hell out of me.

    She told me the student's mother was extremely unhappy with my service for the past month and to that, she listed the following FALSE accusations at me- Supposedly...
    1. I was chronically late - I was, for the ONLY the first lesson because I really lost my way but I did finish the stipulated 2 hours, ie, started late, ended late too. And I apologised profusely!
    2. I told her daughter to do "whatever homework" she had with the last half an hour of a lesson. FUCK YOU. I told her to choose between compre and compo because she complained that the earlier vocab practice I assigned her was too boring so I thought I'd be more flexible with her. So I guess she wanted me to come up with something both enriching and interesting at the same time, like juggling assesment books like a clown, maybe?
    3. I used my hp a lot during lessons and there was once the conversation was quite long because I called my Dad and he couldn't hear me, so I had to repeat what I said. - I asked her daughter for permission to give my Dad a quick call ONCE and I swear to the gods that conversation was less than a minute.
    4. I gave the student a lot of trouble with my timings - I asked her if it was possible to bring a lesson forward by 2 days because I thought I was going to be busy on the day we agreed to have tuition on. When I found out it wasn't conveninent for her, I backed out on the idea and reverted back to the original plan.

    This is more than just a shock for me, it's a DIRECT INSULT to my dignity! All along, both the mother and daughter have been pretty friendly and polite towards me so I really didn't sense that I was causing them even the slightest unhappiness or inconvenience.

    I mean, FUCK IT. Which tutor bothers to bring extra reading materials like the Reader's Digest and Time magazines for a tuition session, on top of scouring for assesment books for their students?!

    I think I've been responsible and helpful enough, thank you very much.

    Even if she/(or her daughter, more importantly) felt I was not doing a proper job, she could have just told me directly and earlier on, perhaps? Instead of waiting till the agent calls and asks her for the 50% fucking commission, right?

    The most appalling thing is the freakin' neurotic and outrightly ureasonable mother REFUSES TO PAY the agent her rightful 50% of my 1 month's pay. She is supopsed to pay the agent $100 but only wants to fork out half of that amount and EXPECTS ME to top up the agent with the extra $50 because apparently, I've been incompetent, problematic and irresponsible.

    Fine. I'm guessing that measly $50 feeds your entire family for a whole month anyway.

    No more cramming of tuition assignments for me. I've had enough of all this. Suddenly, I feel like the whole world's doubting me and waiting for the right moment to pounce on me and point an accusing finger at me for all the things I thought I've been doing right. I feel like I've seen a lot of the ugly side of this world lately.

    I hope that liar daughter of hers fails her O levels.

    22:26

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    Monday, May 29, 2006

    I Scream.

    I have enough ice-cream at home to feed an ENTIRE army barrack. Those suspicious looking cardboard boxes you see contain one of the highest ranked items on the Top 100 Sinful Food list: ICE-CREAM/I SCREAM. This is what happens when you have parents who are constantly on the lookout for warehouse sales and they had to stumble upon an ice-cream one this rainy Sunday.

    A total of $51.50 worth of I Scream-s. NO KIDDING. They've come in full force; an assortment of cones, tubs, caked, nutted, potong-ed and what not. Impressive, no doubt, but very intimidating!

    I am quite scared.

    (Have you ever seen anyone buy ice-cream in such large quantities?!!!?! Obviously, my mum went a bit siao and fell for all the 1-for-1s. :S)

    FINALLY got down to Singtel and signed on a zero-dollahhh baby. No more heartaches even if I lose my phone again (CHOEIII but yeah). ;) I kinda like the charm a lot. (read: Hand/self-made!!!) Most importantly, I've gotten a replacement SIM card and I'm contactable once again at the old number k!

    *****

    On Wednesday, 24th May, we lost an angel...

    She will be loved.

    *****

    What she is doesn't mean you aren't.


    00:19

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    Saturday, May 27, 2006

    :\

    Phew.

    11:07

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    Friday, May 26, 2006

    Recluse

    Today is still a bad day, a continuation of the bad luck bestowed upon me.

    And I've just decided to officially go into reclusion.

    Bye, everyone.




















    You'd continue living in bliss, I just know. :)

    00:01

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    Wednesday, May 24, 2006

    Feels Like It

    Sometimes, I really can't help but feel and think that I'm all alone in the world.

    No one talkable is online and signed into MSN.
    Blogs not updated, tags not replied.
    Don't even know if I received any smses or calls.

    One thing's for sure though - everyone's out having a good time.

    I hate it when I know I'm building my world around a group of people who have so much more surrounding their own lives.

    I am the parasite, leeching onto you for support while in turn, the little bit of gratitude and company I offer is not even a requirement for your own happiness. Your lives are filled with love, fun and excitement while mine is dull, monotonous and emotionally-draining.

    What else can it contain besides unhappiness and work?

    Hah, NOTHING, I'm afraid.

    And she wonders why I rely so much on material comfort. Perhaps I deserve this. It is a viscious cycle after all. Work engulfs my life and makes it boring but I was the one who made the conscious decision of volunteering my services. Why? So I can fill my pockets with M.O.N.E.Y and stuff my face silly with indulgent materialism in hope of driving away that horrible and painful feeling called loneliness.

    Admit it, you may not mind me but you do not need me. I am the one who is needy.

    Needy, selfish and bitter.

    You tell me my time will come. I want to tell you I wish I have to be able to pull through this point in time before I even get there.

    Screw it, nobody reads this anyway.

    21:39

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    Guilt-Ridden

    Okay, it took me one whole day to pluck up enough courage to tell my Dad about the loss of my phone.

    I just told him what happened.

    Now, the guilt is eating into me.

    He needs to take time off work to do the necessary paperwork with me for a replacement SIM card and he was right when he said, "$400 gone, just like that."

    "You haven't seen enough of the world."

    I certainly have not.

    Anyway, the acne antibiotics leaves me feeling extremely lethargic and even drowsy! Forgot to ask the doc about the "only" side effect but I guess I know now.

    Sheer bad luck with EVERYTHING. I am going to strike 4D tomorrow to make this all different!

    00:43

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    Tuesday, May 23, 2006

    One Phone To See It All

    It is most unfortunate and unthinkable, but it really did happen. Never thought I'd be a victim, but apparently a bastard just made it happened to me.

    No, I'm not having a child out of wedlock.

    My phone got stolen while I was at work today.

    Usually, I'm not an evil person but from the bottom of my heart, just for this exceptional instance, I SINCERELY HOPE THE CULPRIT(S) GET RUN OVER BY A CAR. OR JUST DIE FROM HANDPHONE RADIATION (may my trusty Nokia 6170 turn into a mighty powerradiationhouse the moment it realises it's not with its rightful owner and shock that fucking asshole to death).

    :'(

    I think it happened while I was serving some customers on the side of the stall that's opposite our 'work' area where I left my phone in a hurry when a customer called out to me.

    Come on, the phone is such a personal item! It means so many things to me - obviously, contacts of friends and family, pictures of the good old times (nope, no naughty videos that's for sure) and so much sentimental value!

    I remember my Dad forking out more than freakin' 400 bucks for that phone which is not the norm for a tech idiot like me (it's definitely worth much less now, but was pretty ex because when I got it, the model was just launched). It's just that I was so in love with the sleek metallic casing of the phone and it was supposed be my reward for scoring 3 As in the A levels.

    A gift from my Dad for academics. Definitely not a norm, either. It's always been my mum who runs the award ceremonies.

    Now, it's gone.

    I don't even know what to say anymore because I still can't believe that just happened in probably less than 5 hours ago.

    My pay for the past week (ie. the slogging for the past 5 days of work, enduring the 12 hour shifts, annoying, demanding and deadbeat customers, all the dust at the stall) can't even cover the cost of the phone.

    (meanwhile, you might not be able to get me at the old number because I have to bring my Dad down to Singtel to get my sim card replaced and I STILL DO NOT DARE TO BREAK THE NEWS TO MY PARENTS, so I'm gonna be indefinitely phoneless. If there's an emergency, reach me at home at 68998696!)

    And I finally went to see a proper derma this morning. When I applied the medication on my face, some trickled down onto my right eyelid but thank god I shut my eyes in time otherwise I'd be both phoneless and blind.

    Oh, and not to forget, BROKE as well.

    Argggghhh.

    00:38

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    Sunday, May 21, 2006

    Mortifying.

    Been too caught up with work to share this mortifying experience I had.

    On Wednesday, I served this customer who told me he wanted to buy something for his children, a boy of 6 and a girl of 9. He is an Indonesian tourist.

    So naturally, after he picked out the cutesy stuff for them and moved on to the more "womanly" section containing jewellery and stuff, I asked, "Would you like to get something for your wife as well?"

    He paused, put a hand to his chest and said, "My wife?"

    "She passed away already."

    I think my apology was only blurted out after some pregnant pause of about 3 seconds. :S He looked like such a loving father, the incident honestly left me feeling very, very sad for him for the rest of the day and even till now while I'm typing this out. :(

    From that moment on, I've decided very selfishly that I'd really want to leave this world before my (future) husband (assuming I still believe in the notion of marriage when I get to a more marriageable age) does.

    It's just too much pain to bear to be left alone, don't you think?

    00:06

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    Tuesday, May 16, 2006

    Half Of Me Left

    Too tired to attempt to type in prose, hence.

    1. First day of work. Exhausted.
    2. Working at Citilink, one of the push-cart stalls owned by the people from the neighbouring stall of Flaschengeist last dec!
    3. Have to carry a pouch containing float and the day's earnings the whole day while working. SCARY BURDEN. Now, don't mug me while I go to the loo.
    3. Ran short of a couple of bucks while doing closing. WHY?!!!!! What is wrong with my counting?!!!!!!
    4. Got handed the keys to the stall. Responsibility. Sigh.
    5. Wore a new necklace I made and a customer commented that it's really nice! ;) Cheap thrill.
    6. Eyebrow-raising incident:
    Me: (smiles politely) Hello, I'm Gwen, you are?
    Girl at neighbouring stall selling ching chong accessories: (gives me this ultra incredulous look) Huh?
    Me: I said I'm Gwen, your name is...?
    Girl: Oh, JL.
    Me: Thanks for helping me mend my stall while I went to get a drink just now.
    Girl: No prob. Oh, you used to sell *makes a vague drinking action and points to the spot in Citilink where the Flaschengeist stall used to be* that, that...
    Me: Dessert wine? (??!!!!?!!!!!!)
    Girl: Yeah yeah! Very nice!
    Me: Oh, so you mean you recognise me?! *raises eyebrows*
    Girl: Yeah yeah! Short hair...

    Whatever. I felt like poking her 'princess curls'.

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

    00:24

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    Sunday, May 14, 2006

    Sadist Moi

    I'm so hungry and my entire body's feeling so sore. Figure that out.

    No pain, no gain yeah.

    Work starts tomorrow and I'm kinda excited. ;) 11 hours of standing straight with no proper lunch/dinner break means I'll be able to shed the pounds faster.

    If only this can be an overnight thing.

    22:16

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    Saturday, May 13, 2006

    7326

    11 x 666m covered = 7326m = 7.326 km = 45 minutes of uninterrupted endorphin release. :)

    I'm so not a morning runner.

    What are you waiting for, go buy 4D!!! It's a new record!

    Whee.

    23:03

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    Friday, May 12, 2006

    There's always tomorrow..."

    I'm such a hopelessly disgusting procrastinator. There's 77 class outing which I'm too lazy to go for (oh no, Fish, please don't kill me!), a proposal to do for the volunteer conference (fi! Where are you?!!!), new magazines to read, weights to lift, self-made accessories to pack and amend (everything's looking like a mess now and I so badly need nicer charms and stuff) BUT I'd rather just sit here and vegetate away.

    3 more tuition hurdles to clear this week. GOD I HATE THIS BUT I NEED THE MONEY! ARGH. Oh, and I'm starting work at Citilink next week. Be prepared to see very little of me soon.

    Might as well drown myself with work to fill the vacancies in my life. At least I'll have some moolah to keep in the pockets.

    Where are you. I want to glow too, thank you very much.

    If these walls could speak, they would have nothing to say.

    I am not seeing an end to this.

    18:27

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    Monday, May 08, 2006

    0805 is PQ's Birthday!




















    Birthday treat for PQ and belated birthday treat for Clara at Dashing Divas! Whoo. Wish their service is as pretty as their deco though. The people there smile through gritted teeth and nothing felt very genuine to me but heck, they did do a good job and served our birthday girls well! :)

    We tied a red balloon to Jimi and pasted him onto a piece of paper and presented it to PQ.

















    Birthday girl! Pink walls.













    Polo jeans pin-ups. Hahahahaha...













    THIS is tiredness.

    20:51

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    Sunday, May 07, 2006

    THE Infatuation Continues

    Oh gosh... Put me in a quaint little sewing supplies store stocked by many pretty charms, buttons, ribbons and I'm a gone woman! My mum brought me to this shop inside Beauty World owned by a really olddddddddd lady. She''s been patronizing the store ever since she started out as a young seamstress and that place sells such gorgeous buttons and the likes at real price-breakers!

    Ask and it shall be given. They didn't lie to me, it's true! My 'more economic resources' just fell from the skies. :D We do need the experts to lead the way! We're exploring Chinatown and People's Park next week, can't wait! This is called post-exam bliss!

    Oh, and I've dropped another kilo. The weighing scales are being rather nice to me these days. About time, I say!

    So picturesque lately. My cam probably needs a break soon.

    23:47

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    Clara Day!

    For lack of a better title, today was dedicated to Miss Clara Tan Booboo. ;) A most wonderful day spent , visiting a bazaar which is really just a high-class flea market, shopping, pigging out (oops) and of course, catching up on old times.

    Sallow yellow versus Radiant pink. (my face got thinner eh. Heehee.) I kinda like the loanshark chain thingy.

    One of my many post-exams cravings, Tuktuk's papaya salad!!! Spicy enough for us to jump out of our seats and rush to the nearby MacDonald's to dip our tongues into an ice-cream cone each. Shiokkk. Clara with Coffee Bean's 'Today's Brew', something called 'Viennese Dark Roast' (i think), looking very displeased with it because it was too bitter!

    Oh, did I mention we got approached to do a trailer for Singapore Idol but the 'no' came out very promptly because us 2 chatterboxes were too engrossed in our own conversation! Clara! You could have just belted out a tune and show them who's boss! Argh, I should have stopped you from walking away!!!

    My heart's thumping at the sight of this <--. My third handmade necklace. :)

    It took my about half an hour to gather all these materials from Spotlight (thankew to Clara who patiently waited for me while I fussed over the beads and ribbons section of the store) and another freakin' 2 hours to piece everything together!!! Too slow! Anyway, I know the necklace looks kinda plain and amateurish here but I think/hope it looks more tantalizing in real life! You'd be able to see the silver chain and the cute ladybird button on the left side much better! The ladybird sings and the stars really glow! Yeah right, I'm kidding.

    Gotta hunt for more economic materials to sustain this hobby.


    00:39

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    Friday, May 05, 2006

    Cough Cough

    Yeah, coughing till the extent of taking a swallow at your own saliva feels like shoving a splinter down your throat really shouldn't be anyone's idea of funnn. I feel like there's a hamster trapped in my throat and it's constantly scratching against it, making me burst into erratic bouts of coughing fits!

    Grrr.

    I've already coughed enough to surround my immediate surroundings to a radius of 50 metres, FULL of germs. If I cough anymore, I'll be a wanted by the Ministry.
























    This guy sent her flowers.



















    And this one just proposed to her.

    Not random, more like stoic.

    22:58

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    Thursday, May 04, 2006

    Star-crossed Lovers

    Cute wall. ;)

    Was told a pretty inspiring recount which is kinda in tuned with the theme of the pic.

    On Cloud 9... says:
    hey i'll tell you a really cool story...
    On Cloud 9... says:
    abt how one of my friends got herself a bf
    yit's running for her skinny jeans ALONE; says:
    kk
    On Cloud 9... says:
    it was her 21 b'day and her friends took her out to holland V for dinner, and they were standing outside a particular restaurant, deciding which one to eat in, so she just look into the restaurant they were standing rite outside of, thinking tat they were not gonna go in and she smiled at the really CUTE chef
    On Cloud 9... says:
    and guess wat her friends decided to go into tat restaurant

    On Cloud 9... says:
    and told the chef tat it was her b'day, and hope he could make something special
    On Cloud 9... says:
    and he did
    yit's running for her skinny jeans ALONE; says:
    uh huh..
    On Cloud 9... says:
    as he served her the dish, he introduced himself, and they have been dating ever since
    On Cloud 9... says:
    did i mention he's FRENCH
    yit's running for her skinny jeans ALONE; says:
    WATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
    yit's running for her skinny jeans ALONE; says:
    is he old?
    yit's running for her skinny jeans ALONE; says:
    or young n dishy?
    On Cloud 9... says:
    he is 26
    yit's running for her skinny jeans ALONE; says:
    n is ur fren like darn pretty?!!
    On Cloud 9... says:
    she is chinese and looks like you, so yeah she is pretty
    yit's running for her skinny jeans ALONE; says:
    REALLY?!!!!!!!
    yit's running for her skinny jeans ALONE; says:
    she looks like me?!!!
    yit's running for her skinny jeans ALONE; says:
    DAMMIT.
    yit's running for her skinny jeans ALONE; says:
    she beat me to tt restaurant!

    That's what happens when you don't eat out enough.

    Doesn't that sound so much like one of those 'amazing', 'How I Found My Man Without Really Looking' stories in crappy women's magazines?! If it can happen to someone in reality, then why not me, huh? I've been a pretty good person right; I try my best not to knock down pedestrians while driving, donate to the Salvation Army occassionally, bathe twice a day in order to keep up with the cleanliness level of Singapore, been an extremely kind tutor with an overwhelming amount of love for all my students, try my best to not scowl at strangers who stare at me angrily as if I owe them a lot of money, so WHY???

    Okay, I shall just settle for the XLB (Xiao Long Bao) chef already. :\


    22:49

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    Tuesday, May 02, 2006

    Belated.

    Poor Fi's birthday fell right smack in the middle of our exams :( but we held a make-up celebration for her as soon as her exams were over! We settled for Tuktuk Kitchen's buffet lunch at Suntec last Saturday and boy, can we eat. :O

    Presenting the myriad of small little presents...















    The uber cute tissue pouch with protruding blue lips that spits white paper foam, series of 5 pairs of retro-looking earrings to suit our retro mama, an English-y locket necklace, a green leather belt and a pair of cutsey hair clips (okay, can't see that in the collage up there) were all presented to our dearest Fifi. Hope you like the stuff we got and find suitable items to match them with! :P





















    Top row (left to right): Group pic which took 4 tries and hence, 4 unsuspecting passers-by to materialize/ Meet Fish in town for a movie and we saw the pretty legendary little boy drummer on the way!/ Aquamarine. My bold suggestion for a chick flick was promptly accepted by Fish because, guess what? The movie tagline reads, "A FISH out of water comedy". How tantalizing can that be for Fishhhhhh? Heh. We didn't watch that in the end, though. Tickets were sold out. Caught The Alibi in the end and it's really a more low-budget, less complicated and more cosmopolitan version of Ocean's 11, but still quite enjoyable. :)

    Middle: I induce people around to spend and eat. Evidence lies at NYDC because I dragged Fish there. They changed their menus and (according to Fish), jacked up their prices too! :S/ Hot Hazelnut Elephacinno. I'm not an advocate of sweet beverages, but this one has such a fragrant hazelnut taste, you really have to try it! I love it!/ And of course, NYDC has one of the best baked rice for that price range. Grilled chicken and green pepper, can't go wrong with it! :)

    Bottom: Waiting for the ever-elusive 105/ The result of pigging out for an entire day. Fatness!!! Did I mention Fish and I had BOTH nachos and popcorn for the movie? My suggestion, of course. When in doubt, buy all. ;)/ My hair's long enough to be tied!!! Erm, but with many many clips. Okay, cheap thrill. I attemped the smokey eye look, with the bought-long-ago-at-nus-vanity-fair-but-haven't-had-the-chance-to-use-it grey-black eyeshadow from Stila. CAN'T tell, right? I think M.A.C's pigments are better, more intense. Or maybe the Stila one I got is supposed to be veering towards grey more than black so it doesn't look so harsh in the day? Bimboticky. Heh.

    ***
    Major "culture shock" yesterday. The Boon Lay kid's family was playing MAHJONG while we were having tuition in her room!!! How super distracting can that be? I seriously wouldn't be surprised if she has to put up with it everyday and not just on public hols like yesterday, when the adults at home can find enough players to fill a game.

    We are such sheltered people.

    At the very most, I'd just feel like going over to my PRC's neighbour's unit and strangle their kid (haha whom I've always thought is a rowdy little boy who yells 'ye2 ye4'! non-stop, but I found out 'he's actually a 'she' when she wore a pink skirt the other day) but never before was the sound of mahjong tiles clinking accompanied by loud mahjong talk ('pong! pong! pong!) ever existent in my memory of being a kid.

    Poor thing, she. No wonder she couldn't even solve -3y = 24. She told me y = 24/3 = 8 because 'you shift the -3 over to the other side of the equation so it becomes positive 3'.

    !!!?!!!!?!!!!!!!!!!!

    She's Sec 3 this year!!! Shocking.

    I'm gonna drop her after this month, not because I'm irresponsible but because I just cannot accept my tuition students not making any progress. With her foundation, I seriously doubt 1.5 hours of each 3 times each week can do her much good. I'll need more like 3 hours with her everyday to straighten out everything?! :(

    09:11

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