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fodder

the pebbles you've arranged,
in the sand they're strange.
they speak to me like constellations,
as we lie here.

archives

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  • January 2007


    • Wednesday, November 01, 2006

    Leeches and Cream

    Leeches of the world unite!
    We are going to suck the world dry.
    For time is running tight,
    And assignments we have yet to try!

    Wanna know how to drop one kg a day?

    1. Meet the leeches. A few large ones will do too.


    2. Have an econs assignment heavily laden with mathematics due in less than 24 hours and waste precious time calculating rows and rows of answers derived from formula as long as the Great Wall of China MANUALLY, only to realise everything can be done using Ex-hell. Oh, I think Bill Gates nicknamed it Excel. Then, proceed on to panic over the keying in of all the answers, complete with subscripts, superscripts, fractions, decimals, logarithms, trigonometry and other assorted mathematical apparatus into the computer so a SOFT COPY can be duly handed in to the lecturer, as kindly requested/insisted upon.


    3. Drag your tired body and aggravated mind out for a 20-minute-$9.90 taxi ride and turn up punctually for tuition. Make a nth reminder about getting your pay which already has been held up for a couple of lessons, expect to receive cash and be presented with a cheque instead.

    A cheque which translates into one and a half days of waiting for it to be banked in. Your anorexic wallet agrees with you that it feels like an eternal wait.


    4. Realise at 9.50pm that you haven't had anything to eat since 2 pm, but only after hypoglycemia has hit. Then decide, while walking away from the quick cheque deposit area whether to muster up enough strength to at least make it to the nearest 7-11 to grab a cup of milo or to just stop walking altogether before the dizziness threatens to slam your face onto the hard-tiled ground.


    5. Come home and realise the freaking whitehead on your chin has transformed into a mature pimple. F*CKKK.


    6. Break your bathroom mirror while showering. (don't ask how)


    7. Have an eyelash fall into your eye while shampooing and it's so freaking painful that it makes you wanna just dig it out with your shampooey fingers. BUT! How is that possible when you've just broken the mirror 5 minutes ago?! Dash out to your bedroom with a toilet wrapped around your body as a considerate gesture of self-protecton of modesty OR bear with the pain and wait till you are done with showering, then fully clothe yourself and fish that damn thing out with the help of the mirror in your bedroom?

    If you have chosen option B, you're in for big trouble. You will find a mysterious lychee in your eye soon after.


    The thing about having seven years of bad luck after breaking a mirror had better be BULLSHIT.

    Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Where art thou, Lady Luck!

    23:34

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