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fodder

the pebbles you've arranged,
in the sand they're strange.
they speak to me like constellations,
as we lie here.

archives

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Ah Lian Hair

I've gotten myself some ahlian blondish highlights. :S Dupe-able mood the other day; got talked into it. Hehhh.

You've been warned, k.

01:43

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Sunday, September 24, 2006

Initial D

This is lame but I still remember what I did at Borders on Thursday.

I asked a question in my mind and flipped to a random page of a book (okay, that's what the book was designed for, apparently - as a fortune-telling thing).

The reply I got?

"The Initial D cannot get away from it."

Quick!!! Bring on the Ds!!!

20:52

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Saturday, September 23, 2006

You Give Me Something

The random thoughtfulness can seem so empowering momentarily, I wish I can capture them and seal them with a container of sorts, you know... Just to make sure I don't go back on my "thoughts"?

Thoughtful thoughts that go something like, being a more considerate daughter, kinder sister, more concerned granddaughter, a more dependable friend, a friendlier stranger, a more frugal fashionista, a more fashionable fashionista, a less wannabe fashionista, a zen-er person, in general.

OHM.

My neckache's a massacre. :'(

22:34

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Monday, September 18, 2006

Isn't It

Spinnin': 'I Am Not My Hair' by India Arie ft. Akon

So, my bus to school came 30 seconds before I could reach the bus stop but just in time to catch my eye.

Then the second one came and promptly drove off despite me and another passenger flagging for it very noticeably. Hello, one bus, one lane, 2 flailing arms, bus uncle, are you telling me you didn't think we were flagging for that freakin' vehicle you operate? (!!!)

There goes my start to the week - BAD, because I was 20 minutes late for school despite waking up an hour earlier than necessary. WHAT, THE, ___ (fill in blank with word you deem appropriate).

And when something pisses me off, my mind starts racing and I think of all sorts of crazy things. Today's topic happened to be about my (bleakkk) future.

I seriously wonder if I'm screwing up my own life by taking up econs. I am obviously not good at it and my previous "interest' at it was only a fleeting affair based on what I thought it should work out to be (econs = study of ways to make money!!).

It seems like I'm going to become a statistic of the Singaporean stigma - "Local arts degree WITHOUT honours".

Not an inspiring thought for a blue Monday morning.

Yet, the energizer attitude in me questioned the need for this panic attack. Hardworking people are always duly rewarded and there is enough time for me to make amendents, right? I'm not going to look back at this moment 10 years down the road while salivating at the $10, 000 per month paychecks of my friends who are doing professional degrees, right?

I won't, because there are things which, unlike money, cannot be quantified.

I am not trying to disillusion myself. Otherwise, I could move to Bhutan. I hear they operate on "Gross Domestic Happiness". :)

***
Our dearest Fify Mimi has left us for greener pastures for the next 9 months! Girl, we are going to miss you! Email/sms us when you reach! Take care. ;)

23:21

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Saturday, September 16, 2006

Amnesia

I'm gonna catch amnesia, forget everything and make you panic.

:)

11:41

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Thursday, September 14, 2006

Screw

HOW is that I'm supposed to be living the peak/near-peak of my youth balancing work and play when I have about a dozen macro questions unaccounted for, endless tuition to give and dumped with the daunting and bleak task of dating actively in hope of putting the minds of my mum and my girlfriends' minds at ease ("Phew. She's getting settled down, finally!").

HOW, I ask you.

My default mood shouldn't be always tuned to 'sian' right?

01:45

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Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Mourn for That 15 Minutes of Pain

I vaguely remember my chinese teacher in primary school talking to my class about this idiom which describes a mute person being unable to express his displeasure in swallowing some bitter medicine (or herbs, I think...).

Yeah, its the same bitterness caught in my mouth and I just can't fucking spit it out.

HELP.

There has to be a way out of this, right?

So, what is it about looks? Worshipping an ideal set of looks makes you and me superficial people? Then again, we are all allowed a certain amount of room for this thing called fantasy to frolic around in? Is this it? Is this what it's supposed to be or everyone is just doing it wrong? You see something you like and the logical thing is to reach for it, however far it may seem? Otherwise, anything you settle in between for will be not just a compromise for yourself, but also to the "second (or third, forth, blah) best"?

Now, I'm truly convinced that discontentment is the result of the sum of the 7 deadly sins.

When this world leaves me, I wish to be obtain contentment.

22:18

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Saturday, September 09, 2006

-

Maybe if this world starts spinning in black and white, I'll be able to decide if I like it.

Maybe.

Decide.

If.

What if.

Dispensable.

Decadence.

Shhhhh.

10:05

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Friday, September 08, 2006

Short Notice and Close Range

"One must be able to gain an understanding at short notice and close range of the beauties of character, intellect, and spirit so as to be able to draw out the best qualities and make them show in the outer aspect of the sitter.
To do this one must not have a too pronounced notion of what constitutes beauty in the external and, above all, must not worship it.
To worship beauty for its own sake is narrow, and one surely cannot derive from it that aesthetic pleasure which comes from finding beauty in the commonest things."

- Imogen Cunningham

I wonder how much of this is true or practised.

12:23

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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Mirage

So, Capricorns are supposed to be hardworking, right?

Then explain to me why I feel how some things which some seek really ought not to be too sought after; it should come to you, me, us, if it's even supposed to happen.

Nope, not being lazy, jaded or whatever, just confirming a wild thought I was entertaining while nursing a cut some time back.

It's happened enough times for me to feel like a guru goddess now, sitting here and typing this away furiously.

And with that, I officially announce that I give up.

I wanna marry my first boyfriend.

23:01

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Sunday, September 03, 2006

Happy Pictures! :D

02:15

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