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fodder

the pebbles you've arranged,
in the sand they're strange.
they speak to me like constellations,
as we lie here.

archives

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    • Wednesday, May 24, 2006

    Feels Like It

    Sometimes, I really can't help but feel and think that I'm all alone in the world.

    No one talkable is online and signed into MSN.
    Blogs not updated, tags not replied.
    Don't even know if I received any smses or calls.

    One thing's for sure though - everyone's out having a good time.

    I hate it when I know I'm building my world around a group of people who have so much more surrounding their own lives.

    I am the parasite, leeching onto you for support while in turn, the little bit of gratitude and company I offer is not even a requirement for your own happiness. Your lives are filled with love, fun and excitement while mine is dull, monotonous and emotionally-draining.

    What else can it contain besides unhappiness and work?

    Hah, NOTHING, I'm afraid.

    And she wonders why I rely so much on material comfort. Perhaps I deserve this. It is a viscious cycle after all. Work engulfs my life and makes it boring but I was the one who made the conscious decision of volunteering my services. Why? So I can fill my pockets with M.O.N.E.Y and stuff my face silly with indulgent materialism in hope of driving away that horrible and painful feeling called loneliness.

    Admit it, you may not mind me but you do not need me. I am the one who is needy.

    Needy, selfish and bitter.

    You tell me my time will come. I want to tell you I wish I have to be able to pull through this point in time before I even get there.

    Screw it, nobody reads this anyway.

    21:39

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