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fodder

the pebbles you've arranged,
in the sand they're strange.
they speak to me like constellations,
as we lie here.

archives

  • April 2006
  • May 2006
  • June 2006
  • July 2006
  • August 2006
  • September 2006
  • October 2006
  • November 2006
  • December 2006
  • January 2007


    • Wednesday, April 26, 2006

    Disturbed, Unnerved.

    If micro measured 10 on the Richter scale, than macro's definitely a 100 or a 1000 even. Gosh... I'm screwing up all my majors. Well done, me. :'(

    Thanks to Clara who put up with my ranting and shared her woes with me right after the paper (on the phone lah, she din fly to NUS, neither did I fly to Bishan! :P), your listening ear was very much appreciated!

    So that obviously got me down for the day. Right after the paper, I went for a facial (cheapo SGD$40 kind yeah, don't point a finger at me and scream, "High maintenance!") in hope of calming my rather worked up skin. My face's a tad red after all that squeezing and pulling but yeah over than that, I am physically well. If only I didn't see that mole chart stuck onto the wall!

    You know how it is with Chinese right? We believe moles in different parts of the body represent different things, so I inquisitively checked out the meaning of the mole on my right palm. Apparently, if it's found on the centre (mine's kinda but not totally centralised) and at the bottom of the palm, it means "ji2" !!! Good fortune! :D

    Excitedly, I moved on to read what the mole near the jawline of the face is said to signify, and this time round, I was sorely disappointed.

    It read "pin2" as in "pin2 qiong2", ie POOR. :'(

    And to cut the long story short, I thought of my spending behaviour and felt very sad about having no discipline when it comes to shopping so that would probably make the chart pretty accurate. I am blessed with the good fortune to be able to find work easily and thus earn, but I squander everything away and end up being poor!

    *SIGHHH*

    Then, earlier on, 1 of the tuition agencies I signed up with called to ask if I was interested in an assignment. Sec 3 girl, English, Math and Combined Science, twice a week, $360 per month.

    Desperate for the money, I agreed.

    Nothing wrong with that, since I've already decided that I wanna slog my guts out as a tutor during this 3 month break BUT it only served to add on to my second disturbance.

    See? The moment exams end, I get offered a job. After I get my pay and before I know it, I'll spend it all and I'll be stuck in the poverty cycle once more. It's the same story over and over again each holiday!

    My first job after the As at Recruit Express paid quite well with the commission, NVPC pay wasn't high but it was definitely steady and there was NO CPF CUT, been tutoring the twins and that Sec 1 guy for at least a year and Flaschengeist definitely paid well with the higher-than-average pay and super long hours!

    So WHY the fuck am I still poor?!

    Hail the shopping queen and the downfall of her bank account. Yes, we all know the reason why but keep it a shush-shush thing. I am remorseful. I don't want my parents to be right about me being a spendthrift.

    As annoying as her nagging can get, my mum's right. "You will only accumulate wealth if you know how to keep the money you earn."

    How true. I can be earning $20 a day but only spend $2 and be way better off than earning $200 a day and spending $250!

    Bye exams (yes they are over finally, in case I've forgotten to mention) and hello to depression.

    **Proof. I need proof that I have self-discipline. In a month's time I will come back to this post and update on my savings. Everyone just hold me back from spending, please! :S Make use of weapons and violence if you need to and if you are a true friend!

    PS. Oh, I've lost 1 kg just from the exams. :S It's not a lot but do you see the impact of the freakin' exams?! I thought I was gaining weight by leading the sedentary mugging life which means mug, eat, sleep and mug again. I think my brain's gone. Time to get a new ticker. I am going for it.

    22:41

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